


Suga's Home for Wayward Crows

by EzzyDean



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-04 06:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4127721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzzyDean/pseuds/EzzyDean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when Ryuu fell out of a tree and landed on Kei.</p><p>It only got worse from there - if you ask Kei anyway.</p><p>This was years before meeting Kageyama and Nishinoya and Yamaguchi.  Years before meeting Akaashi and Kozume and Hinata.  Years before meeting Kuroo and Bokuto and Sawamura and Sugawara and Azumane.</p><p>Years before puberty and bullies and lost dreams.</p><p>This was back when Tsukishima Kei was five years old and still getting used to wearing glasses and being in a new house.</p><p>Back when the world was so large but not the least bit intimidating because one day he’d find exactly where he was meant to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Things First

He was settled down under the large tree in front of his new house with a book from the library open in his lap.  It was a pop-up encyclopedia of dinosaurs and it was so cool he was thinking about asking for a copy of it for his birthday.  Even though that felt like a long time away.

He had just opened to a page explaining the kind of food that a Brontosaurus eats when a single leaf drifted down onto the page.  A moment later he heard a crackling from above him and then his lap was filled with the heavy body of another kid.  He just managed to dodge an elbow to the face and had a brief millisecond to wonder if the book was damaged.  Then he blinked and jerked his head back, rough bark of the tree catching his hair, as the kid in his lap managed to spin around and clap his hands onto Kei’s shoulders.

“That was so awesome!  You can see like forever from up there.  You gotta check it out with me!”

Kei blinked a few times, frowning when he spotted the book spine-up on the ground a few feet away.  He was torn between being polite to this stranger - something his parents had taught him was important - and being upset that the book might be damaged - keeping things that weren’t yours in good condition was also something his parents had taught him was important.  Kei was just about to ask that the strange kid get off his lap - his knee was pressing uncomfortably into Kei’s stomach - when a girl called out.

“Ryuu!  We’re gonna be late!  You can hang out with your new friend later!”

Kei glanced across the street and spotted the girl standing on the porch of the house there.  He was just about to call out that they were not friends, honestly Kei couldn’t imagine ever being friends with someone so reckless and loud and energetic, when the boy shouted back.

“Jeez Saeko I’m coming already!”  The boy shoved up from Kei’s lap, using Kei’s shoulders for leverage, and grinned down at him.  “She’s so bossy.  She’s only eleven but she acts like she’s a grown up or something,” he whispered loudly.  Then he was off and darting across the street, shouting at Kei that they’d talk again later.

 

“Later” turned out to be that night just before dark when the boy came back over and introduced himself to Kei’s parents before asking eagerly if Kei could come outside to play.  Kei’s parents, happy that he was already making friends, agreed as long as they stayed in the backyard and didn’t wander.

Kei had no intention of wandering anywhere.  Kei hadn’t really even wanted to go outside.  He had been pretty content curled up on his bed with his book.  But his parents had looked so pleased and the other kid had looked so excited Kei had given in.

“I’m Tanaka, by the way.  Tanaka Ryuunosuke.  Since we didn’t really get properly introduced earlier today.”  Tanaka giggled as he pulled Kei around the side of the house.  They stood near the back door where someone - probably Kei’s mother - had turned on the light so they weren’t in complete darkness.

“Tsukishima Kei,” he finally responded when Tanaka looked at him expectantly.  “It’s nice meeting you.”  Tanaka stared at him a moment longer and then started giggling again.  Kei pushed his glasses up with a pout when Tanaka looked at him and giggled even harder.

“You don’t have to be so formal.”

“It’s called being polite.”

“I met you by landing on you when I fell outta a tree.  No need to be polite with me.”  Tanaka suddenly gasped and rolled up his shirt sleeve before shoving his arm into Kei’s face.  “Oh yeah!  Check out this bruise I got when I fell!”

One moment Kei was looking at a fairly large bruise that was already turning a bluish color and the next Tanaka was dragging him away from the light into the dark yard to chase after fireflies.

Over the next hour and a half Kei learned a lot.  He learned that Tanaka was always falling down and usually covered in scrapes and bruises.  Tanaka was six and had an older sister.  Tanaka’s dad was sick a lot and he never mentioned his mom.  Tanaka liked animals and they were always following him home.  He didn’t like reading much but he liked learning things.  His favorite thing to eat was melon bread - and he was determined that it would always be his favorite food no matter what.  He couldn’t believe Kei had never climbed a tree because “what kind of five year old hasn’t ever climbed a tree” and he was determined that they “would fix that first thing tomorrow.”

True to his word the next morning Kei found himself high in the tree in his front yard, one arm wrapped tight around the tree and the other hand clenched in the back of Tanaka’s shirt.

His first time climbing a tree inevitably led to his first sprained wrist.  But it wound up being worth it because before they fell out Tanaka had convinced Kei to open his eyes and stand up on the thin branch, convinced him to take in the view and, to five year old Kei’s surprise, Tanaka had been telling the truth the day before.  You really could see forever.

That day was just the beginning of firsts that he’d share with or have thanks to Tanaka.

 

 

His first sleepover was just over a month later, once they both got done being injured and grounded, and it was also his first time sharing a bed with someone who wasn’t his brother or his parents.  To this day he still isn’t entirely sure which of them had the nightmare and which woke up because of the other’s muffled shout of fear but they had wound up huddled together on his bed, both too stubborn to wake anyone else up.

First crush?  He was finally six and he got a kiss on the cheek from the wonderful Tanaka Saeko.  He had refused to tell Ryuu about his crush for months and months because what kind of dork gets a stupid crush on their friend’s sister?  His secret held until Ryuu caught him offering to share his strawberry shortcake with Saeko.  Thankfully the teasing only lasted a few weeks because by then Akiteru was introducing them both to the world of volleyball.

The first time he ever tried cooking was with both Tanaka siblings and his own brother.  It was also, sadly, Akiteru’s first time truly cooking alone and it was probably only the grace of the goddess that was Tanaka Saeko that they didn’t burn down the Tsukishima kitchen.  He and Ryuu had been seven, Akiteru thirteen, and Saeko was twelve but they all already knew which of the four of them was honestly in charge.

He was eight the first time that he didn’t bother correcting or denying Ryuu when he declared they were best friends.  He was also eight the first time someone picked on him for being too tall and Ryuu had backed him up as he stared down the dumb ten year old who had been trying to bully him.  Even though his hands were sweaty and they had to sit on the curb halfway home from school because he was shaking so hard with adrenaline from the encounter.  They still did it.

His first taste of utter disappointment happened not because of, but rather with, Ryuu.  He was ten and his brother was probably the closest thing to a hero he had.  His walls and shelves were filled equally with dinosaurs, books, and volleyball.  Ryuu had been right there beside him when they snuck into the stands and peeked over the edge of the railing, eyes wide and excitement coursing through them at the thought of watching the great Tsukishima Akiteru in action.  It had been Ryuu’s shirt clenched in his fist when he met his brother’s eyes in the stands across the gym and felt pieces of himself shatter apart.  It had been his best friend who snuck into his room and sat quietly on his bed while he slowly took down each and every volleyball poster and trinket and shoved them into a box.

He was grounded again at eleven.  It wasn’t the first time he had been grounded since the tree incident but it was the first time he had been given a serious lecture with the sentence of four weeks of no extra activities and no Tanaka.  The reason?  They had shaved each other’s heads.  It had been Ryuu’s idea, to show support for his dad who was slowly getting worse and worse every month and while their parents supposedly all were proud of the gesture they still had to discipline them both for not asking for permission and for not being supervised at all.  “You know better than that,” his mother had said and some part of him had agreed even while he bit back the comment that there was nothing really wrong with what they did so the punishment wasn’t fair.  Kei decided after a week that he looked ridiculous and vowed to never cut his hair that short again.  Ryuu, on the other hand, has never let his get long since then.

The first punch he ever threw led to his first fight when he was twelve.  The other guys were thirteen and fourteen and bad mouthing Ryuu’s hairstyle, Ryuu’s family, and basically everything else about him.  Already tall for his age and intimidating, Kei was right there next to Ryuu when the whole thing went down.  His split lip, black eye, and scraped knuckles were worth it to see the way the other guys had scurried away.  And to see the way Ryuu grinned and clapped Kei on the shoulder before declaring him the best ever.  It was also the first serious lie he ever told his parents.  As far as they ever knew he and Ryuu had finally gotten into an argument with each other that couldn’t be settled with words.

 

The first funeral he ever attended was when he was thirteen.  Tanaka’s father had finally passed away after a long battle and after all the other people had left Kei had let himself into the Tanaka house - they’ve had keys to each other’s homes for years now - to find both Tanaka siblings curled together on the couch.  He had been about to leave when Saeko spotted him and waved him over.  That was also the first time he had ever seen Tanaka Ryuunosuke cry.

 

His first day of high school started with Ryuu blinking blearily at him from his front door before flying around in a panic.  Kei didn’t tell him until Ryuu was putting his shoes on that he had shown up a half hour early just for the sheer pleasure of watching Ryuu freak out.  The punch on his shoulder in retaliation and bruise that formed before there before lunch was totally worth seeing Ryuu’s face when he realized what Kei had done.


	2. Welcome to the Neighborhood

“Kei!”  He groans and rolls his eyes at the familiar voice echoing through the gym.  “Good to see you made the right choice for a club!”  Ryuu jogs across the gym and slaps his shoulder - directly on the bruise from this morning - and then glances past him.  “Aw making friends already?  That’s my Kei.”

“I’m not _your_ anything,” he grumbles.  “And of course I’d choose volleyball for a club.  Why would I want to choose something where I’d have to relearn a ton of rules and crap?”

“You’re _my_ best friend,” Ryuu teases with a grin.  Then he bursts out laughing.  “Oh!  You missed it!  The other first years.  Oh jeez.”

“Is he okay?”  Comes a quiet voice from behind Kei and he sighs as Ryuu continues laughing, nearly doubled over and wheezing.  He had almost forgotten the other first year was there.

“I’ve been asking myself that for years,” he replies and steps past Ryuu.  “Where’s the captain so I can turn in my form?”

“Ah,” a high-pitched voice squeaks beside him.  A short blonde girl looks up at him with wide eyes.  “Uh.  Captain Ennoshita is talking with our new coach right now.  But I can take your form if you’d like?”  He shrugs and hands the piece of paper over before finally taking a look around the gym.  It looks exactly like he remembers it looking from years ago when he and Ryuu would crowd at the doors and try to peek in on Akiteru’s practices, eyes bright and wide with the illusions of greatness and promises of amazement that only naive children could embrace.  He swallows down the sick feeling that tries to crawl up his throat at the memories.  There was a reason he refused to ever go to one of Ryuu’s games last year after all.  Ryuu understood.  He was good like that.

“Okay,” the girl speaks again, giving a slightly nervous smile to Kei when he glances over at her, “Tsukishima.  Yamaguchi.  I’m Yachi, team manager.  We’re not doing official practices for a couple days yet but we want everyone to get to know each other a bit so we still want you to be here during practice time.”  Her eyes drop to the forms in her hands and then dart back up to them both.  “Good you’re both middle blockers.  A lot of ours graduated last year so that’s good.”  Someone calls out to her and she hurries away from them with a wave, tucking their forms onto a clipboard decorated with star stickers.

“She’s… cheerful,” Kei mutters sourly.

“She seems nice,” Yamaguchi says from behind him and Kei turns to look at the other first year.

 

He had bumped into him near the doors leading from the main building to the shortest path to the gym.  He had been surrounded by some second or third years - Kei hadn’t really cared enough to notice for sure - and clearly uncomfortable.  But in the couple minutes it had taken Kei to get from the bottom of the stairs to the door the teen he now knows is named Yamaguchi hadn’t said anything to the other teens crowding around him.  In fact he appeared to mostly be staring at the wall past their heads apparently trying to make himself small and invisible.  Which was ridiculous since the idiots had already had him in their sights.

Kei hadn’t wanted to trek around to a different door when this one was literally just a few feet away from the gym so he had simply stepped up and asked them to move aside.

Well.  More like he had told them to stop being useless lumps in the middle of the hallway and move out of the way.

But, really, that was just semantics or something.

“What are you Pimple-Face here’s friend or something, Four-Eyes?  Come to rescue him?”

Kei had glanced at Yamaguchi, taken in the smattering of freckles on his pale but smooth skin, and sighed.

“They’re called freckles, not pimples, and I can see them perfectly well with my glasses.  Maybe you need a pair or two yourself.  Sadly for you they won’t actually make you any more intelligent.  But then you’d at least be able to look in a mirror and see what a pimple actually looks like.”

He had still been a few feet away and as the obvious leader of the band of idiots - why were bullies always idiots? for once Kei would like to find a bully with at least a half a brain to go up against in situations like this - gaped at him like the goldfish in the pond at the park he stepped up to the small group.  He was easily a head taller than all of them, even if they outweighed him a bit, but he knew that should it come to anything physical he would win in the end.  Not that he wanted to fight, especially not on his first day of school that would suck, but he knew he would win if it happened.  Something in his stance or gaze must have set off alarms in the leader’s thick skull because he sneered at Kei and shoved his way past the rest of the group and out the door with a hasty, “Not gonna forget this, Four-Eyes,” tossed over his shoulder as his lackeys rushed to catch up with him.

 

Now Kei was standing in the gym, Ryuu hunched over, still wheezing and giggling and slowly inching towards them, staring at Yamaguchi’s freckled face as he watches Kei in return.  Obviously waiting for some kind of reply.

“Sure.  Whatever.”  He spins and walks towards the bench before Ryuu can latch onto him, leaving Yamaguchi to do whatever he wanted.

He hadn’t come to school today and drug himself into the gym - and back into a world of sports he had been determined to forget about - to make friends.

 

“Kei made a friend,” Ryuu singsongs as they walk home.  He’s bouncing between walking at Kei’s side and skipping back to talk to a short second year named Nishinoya who was walking beside Yamaguchi.  Kei simply adjusts the strap of his bag and fiddles with his headphones.  He isn’t sure if he wants to pull them on and ignore everything.  Well he wants to but he’s not sure it’s a smart idea.  Especially with Ryuu in the mood he is in.  God only knew what these two virtual strangers would know about Kei by the time they parted ways if he wasn’t paying attention.

Speaking of parting ways.

“How long are you two planning on following us anyway?”

“We’re not following you,” Yamaguchi says quietly.

“Yeah.  You know you should show a little more respect to your elders,” Nishinoya pipes up.  Kei glances over his shoulder with a smirk.

“If I see any of my elders I’ll be sure to remember that.”  Nishinoya’s eyes widen but before he can reply Yamaguchi speaks up again from beside him.

“Where’s Tobio?”

Nishinoya gasps and smacks Ryuu in the arm.  “You didn’t tell them?”

“I tried to but then practice started.”

“Ah, got it.”  Nishinoya glances between Yamaguchi and Kei with a grin.  “You two should have seen it.  Tobio and some other first year came flying into the gym all hyped up about playing and got into this huge argument about who even knows what and wound up knocking the principal’s toupee off!  It was hilarious.”  Yamaguchi almost missteps as he stares at Nishinoya, mouth dropping open in surprise.  “Daichi wound up dragging them both off to talk to the principal and I haven’t seen any of them since.”  Yamaguchi and Nishinoya start talking quietly and Kei turns his attention to the road ahead of them.  Their turn was coming up soon and he couldn’t wait to get home and crash onto his bed.  He’d had more than enough interaction for a day.

“Who’s Daichi,” Kei asks when Ryuu pops up beside him again.

“Our new teacher advisor for volleyball,” Ryuu answers at the same time Nishinoya says, “Our guardian.”

Just a few more feet and they could turn and hopefully be done with the whole talking thing.  Which would be nice because Kei was listening to less and less of the conversation and the pieces he was picking up made very little sense.

As luck would have it Nishinoya and Yamaguchi took the turn with them.

Because they had moved into the house next door to Ryuu’s.

Even better, he discovers the next morning when he steps outside, the house next to his own had been moved into sometime over the summer.  He remembered meeting the owners years ago but he hadn’t seen anyone actually living there for a couple years.  Now the occupants apparently included their volleyball coach whose name he couldn’t remember and one of the other first years: a loud, short, bright haired teen who spots a rather sour looking teen emerging from the house next to Ryuu’s, lets out a garbled shout of “Kageyama you jerk,” and some other things and takes off racing down the sidewalk, with who Kei could only assume is Kageyama on his heels.

“Did the whole volleyball team somehow move in to our neighborhood,” Kei mutters as he knocks on Ryuu’s door with a yawn.


	3. 9 AM On A Saturday

“Ok, so, apparently,” Ryuu says through his yawn as he pours himself a bowl of cereal, “Daichi - the new teacher advisor - managed to talk the principal out of shutting down the club and giving those two huge levels of detention.”  Kei nods.  He remembers Ryuu talking about the principal last year.  The man had it out for the volleyball club for some reason and seemed to have made it his mission to find excuses for them to be on the verge of getting shut down and broken up last year.  He drops his head to the table with another yawn.  He didn’t necessarily mind being awake in the mornings he just hated waking up from an alarm.  Something about the jolt awake always made him feel off for a couple hours.  “The main deal is that they have to start cooperating with each other so Ennoshita and Akaashi - captain and vice-captain - decided the best way to do that was a three on three this weekend.  But they  _ have _ to cooperate so they’ll be on the same side and that’s the only way for them to get their applications approved.”

“What does that have to do with me?  I already turned mine in.”

“Ah, that’s where I came in.”

“Naturally.”

“I suggested a three on three with each team having two first years and an upperclassman.”

Of course he did.  Because that was just the way Ryuu was.  What had Kei ever done to deserve a best friend as hot-blooded as Tanaka Ryuunosuke?  He didn’t even like hot-blooded and overly enthusiastic people as a general rule, he reminded himself as they headed off to school, yet here he was walking next to one of the most enthusiastic people he had ever met.

“Oh don’t be that way, Kei.”  Ryuu spots the frown on Kei’s face and elbows him in the ribs.  “It’s a good chance for us upperclassmen to see what you guys can do and Ennoshita said he thought it was a good idea so that he can start getting ideas for the team going and plays and stuff.”

“You know what I can do already.”

“Sure  _ I _ know.  I also know what you’d be capable of if you took the stick out of your ass and actually tried once in awhile.”

Coming from anyone else those words probably would have started a fight.  But Ryuu’s tone was as easygoing as if they were talking about the weather.  Because they’d had this conversation - and every variation of it possible - far too many times.  Kei simply shrugs and slips his headphones on.

“What point is there in putting in so much effort?”  His voice is hollow and muffled with his headphones on and Ryuu doesn’t even bother responding.  “It’s just a club activity.”

 

 

It takes him a moment or two to register that he was being spoken to.  He blinks up into a familiar freckled face.

“Good morning, Tsukishima,” Yamaguchi says for what Kei assumes is at least the third or fourth time, though Yamaguchi doesn’t sound the least bit irritated by Kei’s lack of attention.  “I didn’t even realize yesterday that we were in the same class.”  Kei makes some kind of noise of acknowledgement as the teacher enters and class begins.  Yamaguchi has a seat a couple rows ahead of him and one row to his left and he gives the back of the dark haired teen’s head a confused look as the teacher takes roll.  Even with as disinterested and borderline rude as he had been yesterday, Yamaguchi still came up to talk to him?  That was new.  The only other person to really talk to him even after being a jerk was Ryuu and Kei figured that had more to do with knowing him for so long than anything else.

Maybe it was just misplaced gratitude or something from the bully thing yesterday?  A touch of hero-worship perhaps; most likely not that extreme but something similar to be sure.  He shoves the thoughts to the back of his mind and focuses on class, ignoring thoughts of his new teammate.

It works until lunchtime when everyone else starts filtering out of the classroom.  Kei sees Yamaguchi glancing around the room, eyes darting between the doorway and the mostly empty desks in the room.

“I, uh, haven’t had much of a chance to get to know anyone yet.  Would you mind if I sat with you?”  Kei glances up from his own lunch and shrugs.  Yamaguchi smiles and pulls a chair up to Kei’s desk.  He doesn’t really care one way or the other who does or doesn’t sit with him at lunch so long as they don’t comment on his food or talk with their mouths full.  He got enough of that when he had dinner with the Tanaka siblings.

Yamaguchi, Kei finds out, is quiet.  Not eerily quiet or anything.  Just… quiet.  He speaks a few times but when Kei doesn’t really respond he simply eats his food and then props his elbows onto Kei’s desk, chin in one hand, and stares out the window as Kei finishes his own meal.

“Aren’t you going to eat your dessert?”  Yamaguchi startles and looks down at the desk and then up at Kei.

“Ah, no.  I had so much last night I’m not too hungry for it today.”  He slides it across the desk.  “It’s the only way I can get any most times with Yuu and Tobio around,” he confesses.  “But feel free to have it if you want it.”  Kei shrugs and takes a bite of it.  It’s some kind of orange creme dessert, a bit too much vanilla flavor in it for his tastes but pretty good nonetheless.  “Orange creme is Daichi’s favorite so Suga made it last night.  Tonight will probably be,” Yamaguchi hums a moment and scrunches his nose in concentration, “ah!  Chocolate cake topped with strawberries.  Asahi’s favorite,” he adds with a smile.  “Then later this week will be puddings and dango.”

“That’s a lot of desserts.”

“It’s Suga’s way of helping us cope with the whole moving thing or something.  Daichi got the teaching position here and someone in Suga’s family knew of the house being for sale so we all packed up and moved.  It’s his way of letting us all know that he cares about us I guess.”  Yamaguchi shrugs and goes back to staring out the window as Kei finishes off the slice of dessert.

It’s not until their English lesson starts that the connection between their teacher - Sawamura Daichi - and the Daichi that Ryuu and Nishinoya and Yamaguchi had been talking about registers.  Everyone sits up a bit straighter when Sawamura steps into the room and for a moment Kei thinks he missed something yesterday during class.  Then he sees the way Sawamura’s eyes sweep the room, feels the way his gaze lays heavy when he stops on Kei for a moment before continuing on, and part of him instinctively wants to prove that he’s decent in this subject.  He shakes his head because of course he’s decent in the subject, he’s near the top of the entire first year class in terms of grades after all, so it’s silly to feel like he has anything to prove to anyone.  But that niggling urge to make his teacher proud stays in the back of his mind.

 

He’s almost late to practice because someone had managed to jam his shoe locker shut during the day and it took him an extra five minutes of wrestling with the dumb thing to get it open.  Someone probably opened the wrong locker earlier and somehow jammed it shut in their hurry to get to their own locker.  He shoves the incident out of his mind as he slips into the gym and takes a spot near the back of the group next to Yamaguchi, who raises his eyebrows in concern but Kei just ignores him.

“Okay everyone,” a dark haired teen at the front of the group turns to face them with a calm smile.  “As most of you know I’m the captain.  Ennoshita Chikara.”  He points to another dark haired teen who nods his head towards the team.  “And that is our vice-captain Akaashi Keiji.  If you need anything or need anyone to talk to feel free to come to us.  Hitoka Yachi over here is our wonderful manager and the one who keeps us in good uniforms and makes sure we have practice matches and transportation.”  The blonde girl from yesterday blushes and gives a quick bow.

“Please call just call me Yachi,” she says, pink star clips in her hair glittering under the gym lights as she straightens.

“Anyone messes with her and they’ll have me to answer to!”  Ryuu jumps forward, arms crossed, and gives them all a glare that simply makes Kei huff in amusement.  Ryuu’s glares had never really intimidated him, though he figures the same goes for his own glares when directed at Ryuu.

“Our coach and teacher advisor should be here in a couple minutes.”  Ennoshita nudges Ryuu back into the group with an ease that can only have come from plenty of practice handling Ryuu over the last year.  “The next few days will just be some simple practices.  Nothing too intense.  Just renewing the basics and letting us all get a feel for each other’s playing.  Also I’m sure by now everyone has heard about the two first years who caused a scene yesterday.  There will be a three on three match Saturday to determine their eligibility for the team and until then they are not allowed to join practice.  Everyone is expected to be there Saturday.”  Ennoshita’s eyes catch Kei’s for a moment.  “And I mean  _ everyone _ .”

Most of the team looks back at Kei when they notice Ennoshita’s gaze settling on him.  He glances at them all and raises an eyebrow.

Before anyone can say anything, like maybe a question about why they’re all staring at a first year none of them know, the gym doors open.

“No, Kuroo, I know how to play volleyball.  I haven’t forgotten.  I don’t need a ‘handy illustrated guide’ drawn by you.”

“I remember you being much more fun, Sawamura.”

“I remember you being much less of an a -” Daichi breaks off and glances over at the teens watching them.  “Never mind.  Go.  Coach.  Do something useful that doesn’t involve bothering me.”

“But I haven’t bothered you in years!”

 

They do some warm ups once they’re properly introduced to their advisor and coach then they do a bunch of basic practice stuff.  Spikes, tosses, receives, the works.  It’s the first time in a few years that Kei has really done anything in regards to volleyball.  Sure he was in the club and on the team in middle school but he was perfectly content to spend his time on the bench and just kind of drift through practice.  It was easy with the large number of team members who actually  _ wanted _ to play then.  

He takes in the team here and sighs.  There are only maybe fourteen or so people here which, if the other two first years don’t screw up, gives them probably eleven people, maybe twelve, after the ones who are just here to “check it out” drop and find something else to do.  Kei can already spot the ones he’s sure will be gone in the next couple days.  There’s just something about the way they stand, the way their eyes take in the gym, they way they clumsily go through the motions of practice, that sets them apart from the others.  It doesn’t take a genius to see that he’s the tallest person here and therefore probably one of the best blockers just from a height-based standpoint and will most likely be one of the regulars simply on that fact alone.

Suddenly he’s regretting choosing Karasuno simply because it was closest to his home.

An enthusiastic yell makes him wince and he watches with a blank look as Ryuu rips off his shirt after a strong spike and starts whirling it in the air.

“Apparently he’s the ace,” Yamaguchi says from beside him and Kei frowns.  Ryuu hadn’t mentioned that at all which is surprising because that was the kind of news that Ryuu would normally have shouted at Kei from across the street in his excitement  Even if they don’t talk about volleyball much anymore.  “He certainly has the enthusiasm for it.”

Kei nods absently and watches as Ryuu calls for another one.  The dyed hair setter tosses the ball and Ryuu leaps.  

He and Ryuu stopped playing together years ago - Ryuu always got impatient with Kei’s lack of actual effort for the game that he loved so much, that they both loved once upon a time, and it was one of the few actual sore spots in their friendship - and now it feels like it’s been forever since he’s seen one of Ryuu’s spikes.  Kei’s actually impressed at how much Ryuu has improved over the years.  The sound of the ball thumping into the ground makes him wince a little and he is not looking forward to blocking those spikes during practice.  Unbidden memories of bruised arms and sprained fingers surge forward.  Memories of Akiteru teaching him how to properly wrap his fingers after them getting jammed or sprained during practices float around as he hears Ryuu calling for another toss because he’s on a roll.  

Another ball goes up and connects solidly with Ryuu’s hand.  He lands with a pleased shout as it flies towards the floor when Nishinoya suddenly appears and receives his spike, saving it just a moment before it slams into the floor and Kei is surprised at how easily he saves it, not even wincing or reacting to the pain his arms must be feeling.

“Nice one, Yuu,” Yamaguchi calls out, grinning when Nishinoya turns with a thumbs up.  Ryuu shouts something and runs over to Nishinoya, talking loudly and excitedly.  Yamaguchi shifts towards Kei.  “Yuu’s a libero.  One of the best.  He could have made it pretty much anywhere.”

The amount of energy and talent on this team is already stifling Kei.  He gives the bench a longing look before someone calls out his name for his turn at spiking practice.

 

The week creeps by, Ryuu leaving early each morning with random excuses about wanting to get in more practice before school that, honestly, Kei could care less about.  He knew Ryuu was lying - he always did this little thing where hooked his right index finger around his left thumb when he lied - but it didn’t bother him.  It wasn’t a serious lie or anything and he figured it had something to do with the other first years since he hadn’t seen either of them leaving their houses at all since Tuesday morning.  He would have been content to walk to school alone but Yamaguchi caught up with him both Wednesday and Thursday morning.

He got free dessert every day that week.  Which was nice considering he was actually being made to work up a sweat during practices.  Nothing too much but the bit of extra sweet energy was always a plus.  Apparently Yamaguchi was content to share his dessert with anyone who wasn’t one of his brothers.

Thought they weren’t really brothers, he had explained on the way home Thursday afternoon.  Sawamura and Sugawara had dated in high school then split up when Sawamura went to university.  Sugawara and Azumane had met while Sugawara was working at a bakery and started dating.  Then a few years ago Sawamura had come back and the three of them were in a relationship together now.  The three teens were all orphans and each had their own stories about their past that Yamaguchi shied away from sharing and Kei didn’t really bother pushing at all.  Sugawara’s family had always been known for helping out families and kids without anywhere to go, especially troubled kids, so Sugawara had been happy to continue the tradition and take in the three teens not long after he and Azumane had moved in together.

Yamaguchi was the first one they took in.  He’s been with them for almost two years now. Then not long after him Nishinoya moved in with them.  Kageyama had joined the family just a few months before they moved in next to the Tanakas.

“He’s still having a bit of trouble adjusting to everything,” Yamaguchi had said when they turned the corner onto their street.  “He’s really a great person.  He just sucks at communicating with others.  Like even worse than you do.”  Kei had glared at him automatically and Yamaguchi yelped.  “Sorry, Tsukki!”

He blinked in surprise.  “What did you call me?”

Yamaguchi paled even further, stuttered out an,  “I’m sorry,” and rushed across the street into his house.

It really didn’t bother him that much.  He figured if Ryuu could get away with using his given name all the time then Yamaguchi using a shorter version of his family name wasn’t entirely traumatic.  Plus he obviously hadn’t meant anything by it so whatever.  Kei had already figured that Yamaguchi was a friendly person, someone who liked being around others, and it was probably part of his urge for close friends after moving that made him use the nickname.  Plus it was too much effort to make a big deal out of it.  

Kei had been waiting for Yamaguchi on the corner the next day and had shrugged and walked away when he nervously walked up to him and Yamaguchi had hurried after him with a small smile.

 

 

Saturday morning is not his friend.  Not in the slightest.  In fact, as far as Kei is concerned, Saturday morning can just go and bury itself somewhere.  Preferably taking his loud mouthed best friend wish it.

“Come on, Kei, you’re gonna be late!”  His door opens and he turns and buries himself deeper under his covers.  This does approximately nothing to stop Ryuu as he steps up to the bed and expertly snakes his arms under the blankets and around Kei’s waist.  It’s obvious that they’ve done this routine a few times.  “Your mom let us in as she left for work.  Get up.”

“Go ‘way,” Kei growls.  The rest of Ryuu’s words catch up to his sleepy brain as he bats weakly at Ryuu’s strong arms.  “Who is us?”

“Me!”  The vaguely familiar voice of the team’s libero fills his room.  “And Tadashi too!  Wake up!”

“No.”

Kei isn’t sure how it happens - he’s never sure how “it” happens, things always _happen_ so suddenly when Ryuu is involved - but he winds up sitting on the floor in Ryuu’s lap with Nishinoya crumbling his blankets into a ball and Yamaguchi peeking in from the doorway.  Everything is blurry and his eyes are gritty with sleep and he just wants to go back to bed.

“Wakey, wakey, Sunshine,” Ryuu coos in his ear.

“Go to hell,” Kei hisses back as Nishinoya laughs.

“We’ll wait for you guys outside,” Nishinoya says before he tosses Kei’s blankets back onto his bed.  “Don’t be too long or we’ll leave without you."

“Have I told you today I hate you?”  Kei asks as he stands and stumbles to his closet.

Ryuu stands and grabs Kei’s glasses from his nightstand with a smirk.  “Yeah, yeah.  We can settle it on the court.”

 

Of course Ryuu meant “on the court” literally.  Kei stares unhappily through the net at the other two first years as the shorter one bounces excitedly next to Ryuu talking to him in sound effects, and the taller one glares through the net at Kei.  Yamaguchi is talking quietly with their third player for this match, Akaashi if Kei remembers right, and he can feel the rest of the team watching them as he tries to remember if he had done anything to make the taller first year - Kageyama, his mind supplies, the other teen that lives with Yamaguchi - mad at him in the week of school they’ve had.  He can’t think of anything, not that he really tries too hard because honestly with his personality he knows he pisses more people off than is really necessary in any given day, so he settles for staring back at Kageyama with a tiny smirk on his face.  If he was already pissed at Kei why not just push him a little further?  Angry people rarely played volleyball well.

By the time they’re halfway through the match two things are clear in Kei’s mind: he was right about not wanting to be blocking Ryuu’s spikes - his arms are already starting to bruise - and he finds it almost impossible to believe these two first years have never played together before this.  They are, for the most part, even more in sync than he and Ryuu had ever been in the years they played together.  Their freaky quick sets are unnerving with their accuracy.  The shorty - Hinata - jumps high enough that Kei actually has to put effort into blocking him, not that it’s all that difficult since Hinata has no sense for anything other than to simply hit the ball with all his might.  But it’s irritating.

Kei’s side winds up losing, which isn’t a surprise.  Especially since nearly every single toss Kageyama put up connected and while none of the three on Kei’s side were horrible at receiving, none of them were a libero either.  So almost every ball that made it through a block was a point.  The real surprise, if he had to pick something, was that it was a fairly close score.  Even with Yamaguchi’s weaker serves and Akaashi’s imperfect sets and Kei’s rusty blocks they kept it a close match.

The rest of the team breaks up into groups for some light practicing while the three on three teams take a quick breather.  Kei’s rubbing the bruises already forming on his arm idly and taking a drink of water when he feels someone watching him.

“Having fun yet?”  Ryuu appears beside him before stealing the water bottle right out of Kei’s hand instead of walking the foot further to the bench where Ryuu’s own bottle is sitting.  

“Oh yeah I just love getting my ass kicked at nine am on a Saturday,” he says as he snatches his bottle back.  “Can’t you see that?”

“Come on, Kei.”  Now there’s a tone that he hasn’t heard from his best friend in a while.  It sets him on edge because soft yet mildly exasperated is not a tone of voice that has ever really bode well when they talked to each other.  “You don’t have to have Hinata’s enthusiasm but you could act like it’s not the end of the world to be here.”

Kei sighs.  He really doesn’t want to do this.  Not here.  Not ever, really.  It’s exhausting and brings too much to the surface that he prefers to avoid.  He stares at the bruises forming on his arms and wiggles his sore fingers before clenching them into fists, nails digging into his palm as he gives Ryuu an unimpressed look.

“I don’t like volleyball.”

Ryuu’s eyes shut for a moment and tips his head back, taking a deep breath.  Then he opens them and gives Kei a wicked grin that hits him somewhere in his gut.

“If that’s what you need to tell yourself.  Go right ahead.”

Whatever tension is between them is gone by the time practice is over and they drag themselves home.  Or maybe they’re just too worn out to bother arguing about something they’ve covered hundreds of times over the years.


	4. Friendship Comes in the Strangest Places

Monday morning is kinder than Saturday was and Kei isn’t sure if it’s because he wasn’t forcefully dragged out of his bed or because there were no morning practices yet.  In all honesty he thinks it might have more to do with the fact that Yamaguchi and Nishinoya were waiting at the corner with some kind of fresh baked breakfast bread to share with him and Ryuu than anything else.  Sometimes he can be easily swayed with free food, he’s only human after all.  Kageyama joins them today but he’s very quiet, choosing to bring up the rear a few steps behind Kei and stare at the ground.

They’re all quiet on the walk to school, actually, each lost in their own heads as they trudge through the nearly empty streets and munch on their breakfast.  That is until a shout jerks Kei from his thoughts and he looks up just in time to see a bike fly by with a blur of bright orange hair somewhere on it.  Kageyama’s eyes light up and he yells something and takes off running after the bike and what Kei assumes is Hinata.  Nishinoya laughs and starts to jog after them but stops when a quieter voice calls out from behind them.

“Did Hinata just come through here?”  The voice of their vice-captain is quiet in the morning air yet it has an air of command to it that reminds Kei a little of Sawamura’s as he glances over his shoulder and spots Akaashi and their setter - Kozume something or other he thinks - walking up to them.

“He just zoomed by here, yeah,” Nishinoya says.  “Why what’s up?”

“Shouyou left his History stuff on the kitchen table,” Kozume says quietly with his eyes glued to the game console in his hands.  He frowns a little as battle music swells and then cuts out.  With a sigh he shuts off the console and tucks it into his bag, dyed hair covering his eyes.  “He was busy being overly excited about walking the halls that the Small Giant walked again.”

“Is that what it was this morning?”  Akaashi asks and Kozume nods and yawns.

 

His shoe locker is jammed shut again this morning, Kei realizes with a scowl as he yanks the tiny door open, nearly missing what Yamaguchi is saying.

“I didn’t realize that Hinata and Akaashi and Kozume all lived together.  I think Hinata said something Saturday about moving in with his cousin to come here.  I wonder who exactly is his cousin.”

“Find whoever in that house is the loudest and that’s probably who it is.”  Yamaguchi snickers and Kei thinks that if he listens hard enough he can probably hear Hinata even through the crowded hallways.  The bright ball of energy is just that loud after all.

 

Practice has never been anything that he’s looked forward to and that fact is even more true with Hinata bouncing everywhere and Ryuu and Nishinoya going along for the ride.  They all just seem to magnify each other’s natural energy and volume and within ten minutes Kei can feel a headache on the way.

By Wednesday he’s starting to wonder if it was too late to find a new club.

By Friday he’s ready to kill someone.

His head is pounding.  His shoe locker has been either jammed shut or hanging open every time he’s gone to open it the entire week.  There’s a rock in his shoe that he hasn’t had the time to stop and get out all practice.  Hinata is apparently on a sugar high of some kind because he is even more wound up than usual.  He has hours of homework to get caught up on because he had forgotten how much homework builds up when you are actually expected to participate in practices.

To top it all off Akiteru is coming home for the weekend.  He’s probably at the house right now.

“... so then I just knew I had to come here since the Small Giant did!”  And now Hinata is talking about the Small Giant.  Again.  For the tenth time.  Today.  Kei would like to say he hasn’t been keeping track.  But he’d be lying.

“What is your stupid obsession with him?”  Kei snaps, rubbing the bridge of his nose.  “He’s just a person.”

“Just a person?”  Hinata sounds offended.  “ _ Just _ a person?  He was the ace! He’s a legend!  He’s the Small Giant!”

“He wasn’t that impressive.”  Kei can’t say he entirely remembers the guy, that was a bad time for him after all, but he can’t remember him being all that amazing either.  Then again Hinata is easily impressed most days.  An incredibly shiny ball of twine could probably amaze him.

“Like you would know,” Hinata pouts.

“Small Giant?”  Ryuu asks as he sidles up next to him.  Kei nods.  “Yeah he was pretty awesome to a ten year old wasn’t he?  But I think we only met him a couple times.  He and Saeko didn’t really hang in the same circles.”  Ryuu nudges Kei’s side.  “Was he in the same year as your brother or my sister?”

“Don’t remember.  Don’t care.”  Kei regrets having ever joined in this conversation.  He glances around for something to distract himself with or someplace quiet to rest as Hinata starts getting even louder and more energetic over the fact that Ryuu and Kei had actually met the Small Giant and talked to him.  Kozume is sitting near the corner on the opposite side of the gym and Kei joins him, easing up to him and slowly sinking down to the floor next to him.

Kozume blinks up at him for a moment and then looks back down to the phone in his lap.

“Shouyou is noisy today.”

“You live with him apparently.  Is he ever not noisy?”  Kei tips his head back and closes his eyes as he tries to bite back the nausea suddenly crawling up his throat in time with the pounding in his head.  Just great.  What a wonderful way to end a week.

Kozume ignores the remark and watches Kei.  “Are you okay?  You’re really pale.”

“Long day.  Long week.  Headache.”  Kozume makes a noise of acknowledgement.  Kei rubs at his closed eyes hoping that if he presses hard enough his rioting head will behave long enough to get through the last hour or so of practice.

A cool hand on his brow startles him and he has to take a deep breath to steady his stomach before he can finally blink his eyes open to see Yachi’s brows furrowed in concern as she draws her hand away.

“You might have a touch of a fever,” she says quietly as she takes in his pale face and the way his jaw tightens as another wave of nausea hits him.  “The nurse is already gone by now.  Maybe you should head off early.  I can tell Ennoshita and Kuroo for you if you’d like.  Get someone to take you home.”

Home.  As much as he doesn’t want to be sitting on the floor of the gym with his stomach trying to crawl up his throat - Yachi looking down at him so kindly and Kozume beside her with a mildly concerned look on his face - he’d really rather not be home either.

He stands, determined to just deal with the last hour of practice and figure out what to do about his brother being home later, and stares down in confusion when his legs go shaky and Kozume reaches out to gently push his shoulders against the wall for support.

“Someone needs to take you home so you can rest.”  Yachi’s eyes dart around the gym.  “I can ask Kuroo or maybe Daichi.  They probably have cars.  Oh but you’d have to be sure not to get sick in their car.  That would be horrible for you and them!”

He’ll just stay.  He can survive the last hour and then drag himself home.  No fuss needed.  Kei shakes his head and then bites off a groan when the motion makes him feel even more miserable.

“I’ll walk with him.”  Kozume offers and nods his head towards the side door of the gym.  Away from the bench and where everyone else is gathered.  Yachi bites her lip and looks between them for a moment and then nods.  “Just ask Akaashi to bring our stuff with him when he leaves.”

 

Kei has no idea why Kozume is being so nice to him.  They’ve barely spoken to each other at all in the two weeks school and volleyball practice has been in session and it’s not like Kozume goes out of his way to be nice to people or anything and Kei  _ definitely  _ doesn’t do that.

“Why are you walking me home?”  He finally asks when they’re about halfway back to their street, Kozume having no trouble keeping up with Kei’s slower gait.  He keeps just close enough to put the occasional steadying hand on Kei’s arm when he starts to go wobbly. 

“I didn’t feel like practicing anymore.  And my phone was dead.” 

Simple enough but it made sense with what he’s seen of the other teen.  It wasn’t that Kozume was lazy he just seemed to minimize the effort needed to do anything.  Actually he was similar to Kei in that regard, though he simply seemed to not want to put in the effort as opposed to Kei not seeing the point of putting in the effort.  The difference was subtle but it was there.

They round the corner and Kei frowns as his house comes into view.

“What’s wrong now?”

“My brother’s home for the weekend.”

“Okay.”

Kei takes a deep breath and then sighs.  “It’s just.  Awkward between us.  I don’t feel like dealing with it right now.”

Kozume stares up at him for a couple minutes before shrugging.  “You need rest,” he says quietly as he heads towards their houses, “you can sleep on the couch.  It should be plenty quiet until Shouyou gets home.”

That… was not the reaction Kei expected from Kozume.  Maybe the shrug.  Possibly some statement about it not being his problem or it being a dumb reason.

But he wasn’t about to give up an hour or so of quiet freely offered to him so he follows Kozume into the house next to his own.

“Bokuto?”  Kozume calls out as they slip out of their shoes and he points Kei towards the living room.  “He must not be home yet,” he says when there’s no answer.

“Who is Bokuto?”  Kei can’t help but ask.  He collapses onto the couch with a grunt and barely remembers to take his glasses off before burying his head under a cushion.  He’s still in his gym clothes and sweaty and probably stinking up the couch but it’s not his couch so what does he really care?  As long as he doesn’t throw up on it he doesn’t figure anyone should be able to complain.  

A few minutes later Kozume nudges his elbow and hands him a glass of water and a couple of headache pills.

“Bokuto is Kuroo’s boyfriend.”  Kozume settles onto the floor in front of the couch with his handheld console in his lap.  His voice is soft and calming and Kei starts to drift off as he talks quietly, words interspersed with button clicks and the gentle music of his video game.  “They knew each other in high school and have been together since university.  Keiji - Akaashi - and I used to be Kuroo’s neighbors when we were younger.  But some stuff happened and we lost our parents so Kuroo took us in.  When his parents realized we went to Karasuno they offered to let us move in here.  It’s a lot larger than the apartment we used to have and closer to the school.  And Bokuto could move in with us.  That makes Kuroo happy which is nice.”

“Hinata?”  Kei asks groggily.  Something about the almost detached way Kozume mentioned his and Akaashi’s parents feels like he should take note but he’s hovering right on the edge of sleep and Yamaguchi’s wondering from Monday was stuck in his head.

“Shouyou is Bokuto’s cousin and when he found out we moved closer to Karasuno and had an extra bedroom he basically begged everyone until he could move here with us.”

Kozume goes silent after this and Kei finally lets himself slip off to sleep.  His last thought is that he’s pretty sure he’s never heard Kozume speak this much to anyone in the two weeks he’s seen him around, usually spending most of his time watching carefully and quietly from under his bangs.

 

It’s dark when Kei wakes up.  The throbbing is gone from his head and his stomach feels more or less settled though his neck and shoulders feel stiff from how his head is still shoved under the cushion.  A muffled shout reaches him as he pulls his head out and drops his chin onto the cushion.  The voice is familiar.  Hinata’s, he thinks, followed by Ryuu’s and maybe Yamaguchi’s.  But they sound strange.

What’s even stranger is how he doesn’t feel awkward waking up in someone else’s house.

“Hey,” Kuroo says from the doorway.  “Feeling better?”

He sits up slowly and stretches his neck, carefully rolling his head from side to side, before glancing around for his glasses.  He remembers taking them off but not what he did with them.

“Kenma said he put your glasses on the table if that’s what you’re looking for.”  Kuroo steps around the couch and grabs his glasses from the end table.  He hands them to Kei with a smile.  “I was surprised when Yachi told us he was walking you home because you were sick.”

“He was bored and his phone died.”

Another shout sounds, louder and from someone older, and Kei glances around the dark living room.  They must be outside.  That would explain why they sound so strange.

“I suppose that’s true.  Tell you a secret though.”  Kuroo waits until Kei glances at him to continue.  “He doesn’t make friends easily.  He has trouble around people he doesn’t know.  He’s normally pretty quiet and reserved so he must sense a kindred spirit in you or something.”  Kei’s not sure how to take that because he’s not sure he’s ever really been labeled as quiet and reserved.  Sure he doesn’t say much but it’s always been described more along the lines of stuck up and aloof.  He stares at Kuroo the best he can in the dark and Kuroo laughs.  “Yeah, Kenma gives me that same look.  I’m pretty sure it’s his way of saying I’m full of shit.”  Something thumps against the wall and Kuroo sighs.  “For crying out loud, Bokuto,” he mutters, “I told you to help them practice not break a window.  It’s probably about time to break up the party and send everyone home.”  Kuroo stands with a smile that Kei can’t understand when yet another round of shouting arises.  “Not that many of you have far to go anyway.”


	5. Oh Look Is That A Plot?

Kei slips through the dark between their houses, catching a glimpse of white and black hair sticking up every which way and the man attached to it being chased by a bunch of teenagers, and up into his room without being spotted.  He feels better but he just wants to go back to sleep.  Luckily no one comes up to bother him.

At least until he stumbles down to the kitchen the next morning and finds his parents at the table and Akiteru rinsing his breakfast dishes in the sink.

“So we met your volleyball coach last night,” Kei’s mother says in lieu of good morning.  “He stopped by to let us know you were resting at his house because you weren’t feeling well.”  Kei schools his face into a blank expression and digs around in the cupboard for a box of cereal.  “I didn’t realize your coach was our new neighbor.”  Kei shrugs and settles at the table with his cereal.  He can feel everyone’s eyes on him and wonders why he’s suddenly such an interesting thing to them all.  They did this all the time and it drove him crazy.  “If you weren’t feeling well why didn’t you just come home?”

He takes a moment to finish his mouthful of cereal before answering.  “We left part way through practice and I forgot to grab my stuff so I didn’t have my keys.”

“Akiteru was home.”  Kei glances at his brother and shrugs.

“I forgot.”  He finishes his cereal in silence, trying not to hurry through it and make them ask more questions, and pushes away from the table.  “I’m meeting up with Ryuu for a bit.  I’ll be back before supper.”

No one says anything, simply watches him rinse out his bowl and leave.  He can hear them talking quietly when he gets back from his room and slips into his shoes.  It doesn’t bother him that much anymore.  The fact that they kind of look at him and treat him like they’re not quite sure what to do with him.  Kei gets good grades like Akiteru and he has a smile that’s identical to his mother’s when he uses it genuinely and he has his father’s sharp wit.  But he’s not the cheerful social butterflies his mother and brother are.  He’s not the natural leader his father is.

He steps outside with a shake of his head.

It’s not Ryuu he sees sitting on the steps across the street.  It’s Nishinoya.

“Hey!”  He calls out when he sees Kei.  “How’re you feeling today?”

“I’m alive,” Kei says when he reaches Ryuu’s front steps.  “What are you doing out here?”

Nishinoya grins up at him and Kei has flashbacks of a similar grin and the daunting task of climbing to the top of a tree and he feels a familiar twinge of curiosity and worry - he refuses to acknowledge it as fear, just a healthy dose of worry thank you very much - as Nishinoya hops to his feet.

“I have the best idea ever…”

 

It was not the best idea ever.

It wasn’t even close.

This was worse than “Hey, let’s climb the tree!”

Worse than “Hey, Tsukishima, bet I can catch more fireflies than you can before it rains!”

Even worse than “Kei!  You can’t tell me you’ve never been on a ghost hunt before!”

And somehow even worse than “Of course we’re not too old to play in the kiddie playground.  It’s midnight what’s the worst that can happen?”

Anyway.

Not the best idea.

Which is why Kei refuses to help; though he doesn’t stop Nishinoya from sneaking into Ryuu’s room.  In fact he unlocks the front door for him and debates not telling him which room is Ryuu’s and which belongs to Saeko just so he can potentially listen to Saeko killing Nishinoya.  But he likes Saeko and her going to jail for killing an idiotic teenage boy was just unfair.  So he tells Nishinoya not to go into the room on the left if he likes having things like working limbs and the ability to play volleyball and settles himself on the couch with a magazine he finds under the coffee table.

When he hears Ryuu’s first loud shout he wonders if he should have turned on the voice recorder on his phone for future amusement and blackmail purposes.

Kei’s pretty sure he’d be learning some new words and some impressive ways to use them if he hadn’t already been friends with Ryuu for so long.  He hears a thump, what sounds like a window flying open, and then a surprised yelp from what he thinks is the neighbor’s yard.  He tosses the magazine aside and heads into the kitchen to peek out the window.

Yamaguchi is standing in between the two houses staring down in shock at Nishinoya sitting on the chest of a large guy sprawled on the ground.  Kei doesn’t recognize the man so he assumes it must either be Sugawara or Azumane.  Sawamura appears from around the corner of the house next door and stares at the two on the ground as Nishinoya starts talking and pointing.  Then he looks up and Kei hears Ryuu stumble away from his bedroom window.

He gets confirmation later that day from Yamaguchi that according to Nishinoya it was still the best idea ever.  Even if he was grounded for a week and nearly gave Azumane a heart attack.

 

 

Just like he had originally figured he seems to have been picked for a regular and honestly he doesn’t really know how he’s supposed to feel about that.  Hinata told him he looked smug when they started looking over plays and ideas where his name was regularly featured as a blocker.  He didn’t feel smug.  He didn’t really feel much at all.  With a smirk he told Hinata he was surprised he could see anything from all the way down there.

Sawamura wound up having to break up the fight with threats of detention.

 

 

The worst part about so many people from the stupid volleyball team living so close is that Kei is surrounded by volleyball idiots.

Hinata lives and breathes volleyball.  He’s pretty sure Kageyama sleeps with his volleyball instead of a stuffed animal or something.  Ryuu and Nishinoya are barely a half step below Hinata in terms of enthusiasm.  Kuroo and Bokuto are constantly inviting everyone over to play for fun.  Everyone just joking around and tossing the ball back and forth.  Hinata somehow even gets Kenma into playing more, even though he’s much quieter about it than the others.  Akaashi enjoys volleyball but he’s not quite as obsessed with it as the others are yet Kei still sees him playing with the others most nights before dark.

Even Ennoshita and the others follow them all home a couple times after practice to, inevitably, practice more.  Somehow Kei seems to be the only one who understands that practice being over means that you can stop playing volleyball.

“Don’t you want to go have fun with your friends, Kei?”  His mother asks one night.  They can hear the rest of the team whooping and yelling and laughing next door and he barely stops himself from rolling his eyes.

“I have a project I want to finish,” he says and shuts himself in his room with his headphones.  He turns the music up loud enough to drown out the noise from next door and digs out his homework.  Honestly.  They’re all idiots.  Running around and putting so much effort in volleyball.  If most of them put even a quarter of the effort they put into volleyball into their actual homework and classes they’d all be much better off.

 

They have a practice match with another team from a small school not far away at the end of the week and Kei is already ready for it to be next week - and today is only Wednesday.

It’s Wednesday and he’s standing in front of his shoe locker after school with a scowl on his face that he’s sure would send Hinata bolting in the other direction.

“Tsukki?”  Yamaguchi stops next to him.  “Are you coming?”  He glances into Kei’s locker and then back to Kei.  “Something wrong?”

Yes there was something wrong.  His shoes were in his locker.  The shoes that had disappeared sometime on Tuesday - his locker had been empty when he went to leave for practice Tuesday afternoon - were now sitting in his locker and the shoes he had worn this morning - the shoes he usually wore for volleyball - were now gone.  Kei yanks out his shoes and slips into them.  He’s not sure what he’s going to do for practice now since he has no actual sports shoes.

Yamaguchi gives him a questioning look but doesn’t say anything when Kei shakes his head and leads the way out of the building.

The jammed locker made much more sense now.  He had suspected for awhile that it wasn’t just an accident, that someone was intentionally screwing with his shoe locker, but he hadn’t really thought much about it.  It was a minute or two worth of inconvenience.  A few seconds of frustration that was forgotten about nearly as quickly as it occurred.  He’d actually already adjusted his mental schedule to account for the few minute delay before and after school.

But this was more than a slight inconvenience.  This was his actual property getting screwed around with.  Honestly he could care less about his locker getting messed with since it was technically school property and not his.  But these were  _ his _ shoes getting taken.  His stuff being pawed over and probably passed around that gang of idiots like some pathetic trophy.  Like they were big baddies since they pushed around a nervous first year and stole another first year’s shoes.

It’s not until he bends down to slip on his shoes in the club room that he realizes he’s already changed for practice.  But he has no athletic shoes.

“Shit,” he mutters and drops onto the bench with a sigh.  The others have already changed and headed out so no one sees his frown as he drops his head back against the wall.  He didn’t really feel threatened at all by those bullies.  Just frustrated and inconvenienced, which kind of makes them crappy bullies.  He knows it’s the ones that he stood up to that first day of school.  The pathetic “Not gonna forget this, Four-Eyes” mocks him in his mind.

“Tsukishima?”  Akaashi steps into the room.  “You still here?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah good.  I found these tucked under the sink in one of the bathrooms near the second year’s classrooms.”  Kei opens his eyes to see his shoes hanging from Akaashi’s fingers.  “They’re yours, right?”  Kei nods and Akaashi sets them on the bench.  “I thought so.”  He turns to leave and pauses at the door, dark eyes sweeping over Kei as he grabs his shoes and slides them on.  “You know if there’s something you need to talk about we’re all here for you, right.”

Kei freezes with his laces dangling from his fingers before hurriedly tying his shoes.  He shoulders past Akaashi and walks to practice without another word.

It’s only Wednesday, he reminds himself as Hinata flies past him and bounces excitedly in front of Yachi, voice echoing through the gym and making Kei’s head pulse in irritation.  Only Wednesday.  His spikes are slightly harsher than usual.  His blocks followed by remarks that bite harder than normal.  He and Kageyama nearly come to blows, though neither show it outwardly it’s obvious to those close to them in the set of their shoulders and the narrowing of eyes.  Only Wednesday.

He pushes past Ryuu without a word after practice and loses himself in his music on the walk home.  Supper is a quiet deal, like usual, and he’s up in his room after he washes the dishes with his headphones on and homework spread across his desk.  He doesn’t hear the doorbell.  Doesn’t note the missed texts on his phone.  Doesn’t register the knock on his door.

He’s still awake and frowning at his homework when Wednesday turns into Thursday.

 

Thursday afternoon finds him staring as Nishinoya hands over his lunch box before practice with a confused and irritated look on his face.  Kei doesn’t think he’s irritated at him.  At least not if the growl he lets out when he informs Kei he found his lunch box shoved into one of the trash bins near the second year’s classrooms is any indication.

“Is something going on?”  Nishinoya demands as he watches Kei stick his now empty lunch box in his bag.  “Why was your stuff shoved in a garbage can?”

Kei shrugs and heads down to practice with Nishinoya on his heels.  Hinata is in the middle of the gym arguing loudly with Kageyama about whether “King of the court” is a cool nickname or not.  Hinata thinks it’s awesome, apparently, and Kageyama tells him if he likes it so much  _ he  _ can have it.  Kei is too busy ignoring Nishinoya’s frustrated look to make use of Kageyama’s nickname himself.  So he simply files it away.

 

Finally it's Friday.  

They were to be on their way to their practice match as soon as everyone met up after class duties and whatnot.  Kei stares at the empty spot next to his desk where his bag is supposed to be.  It was hanging there when he had drug the garbage downstairs just a few minutes ago and now… it was gone.

Probably in a trash can somewhere near the second year’s classrooms.  Or in a dumpster.  Or tossed in a bush halfway to the sea for all it mattered.

He drops the trash can in his hands back in the corner it belonged in and trudges down to his shoe locker.  At least his shoes are in the right spot and he was apparently smart to leave his volleyball stuff in a gym bag in the club room.

He’s the first one on the bus since he has nothing but his one gym bag to grab and deal with.  The others file on after him and give him wary looks.  He can feel the curious stares.  They practically smother him and leave a thick wad of irritation and anger in the back of his throat.

If he had never intended on leaving through that set of doors on the first day of school none of this would be happening.

Why did he ever decide volleyball was a good club choice?  He should have known better.  So much crap in his life led back to volleyball.

He’s staring out the window - the view of the back side of the club room is absolutely breathtaking this time of year after all - when someone sits next to him and a few moments later the bus starts moving.  Kuroo and Sawamura make some stupid announcements about the upcoming match and taking them all out for food afterwards and Kei continues to stare out the window.  A few minutes after the adults sit down he feels something dropped into his lap.

“I don’t think I found everything,” Kenma says as he focuses on his phone clasped tightly in his hands, “but I found what I could.”

Kei’s bag has seen better days.  Hell this morning it looked a hundred times better.  Now there are holes everywhere and half the seams are ripped out.  The strap has a clean slice through it.  The lining of the pockets are sliced open.  The contents are carefully tucked inside, or as carefully as they can be considering the bag’s condition.  Two of his notebooks seem to be missing as is the book he had checked out from the library and everything inside looks slightly damp.  His phone had thankfully been in his pocket all day, as was his wallet, but his mp3 player was a smashed mess with tangled headphones tucked into one of the pockets.  The part that actually sends up a tiny flag of concern is that his keys are gone.

“My keys,” he says with a frown.  Kenma looks up in confusion and then stares at the bag for a moment.

“I picked some up.  Oh.”  He leans into the aisle and Kei glances around for the first time since sitting down.  Ryuu and Nishinoya are sitting a few seats behind them.  Kageyama is near the back with Hinata leaning over the seat in front of him and chattering nervously at him.  Yamaguchi is sitting a couple seats ahead of them on the other side of the aisle.  Ennoshita and Akaashi have their heads bent together over something up near the front of the bus where Kuroo and Sawamura are seated.  Yachi glances back from her seat across from Yamaguchi when Kenma mutters something and then she disappears from sight for a moment.  He can just make out Narita and Kinoshita sitting behind Ryuu and Nishinoya and laughing about something.

Cold metal presses into his hand.  Kenma is already focusing on his phone again.  “They must have fallen out of one of the holes when I bumped into Tanaka.”

 

 

“So what’s going on?”  Ryuu demands when he lets go of Kei’s wrist after dragging him off to the bathroom the moment the bus stopped.

“Apparently I’m watching you take your pants off since Hinata puked on them.”  Kei rolls his eyes when Ryuu throws his track pants in his direction half-heartedly.

“I meant with you and Kenma.  He had your bag when he got on the bus and he sat with you.”

Kei shrugs as Ryuu digs out his gym shorts with a triumphant shout that echoes through the empty bathroom.

“I misplaced my bag and apparently he found it.  He probably just didn’t feel like moving once he sat down.  You know how he is sometimes.”

“That seems to be happening a lot lately,” Ryuu says casually as he grabs his track pants and rinses the worst of the stain off of them.  “You misplacing your things and all.”

Of course he knew.  Despite all appearances Ryuu wasn’t stupid or unobservant.  He was sharp and quick and vibrant.  He was a lot of things that Kei sometimes forgot about.

“You know I have your back no matter what, right Kei?”

His startled gaze meets Ryuu’s in the mirror.  There’s determination there, like there always is, but there’s a touch of sadness too.  Like he knows that Kei isn’t telling him what’s going on, that Kei’s keeping something a secret, and it hurts him.

“You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah I know,” Kei looks away from the mirror when the shouts of their teammates start filtering in from the hallway.  He can feel Ryuu watching him a little longer and his words settle heavy in Kei’s stomach.  Really what was a best friend even?  They weren’t the carefree children they used to be.  When a scraped knee was healed with a kiss and adventures were found just by stepping outside for the day.  When bullies were kids bigger than you who simply called you names to your face and stole your dessert instead of screwing with your stuff and hiding behind anonymity.

Then Ryuu chuckles and throws an arm around Kei’s shoulders, dragging his head down to Ryuu’s height as he pulls him to the door.  Kei eyes Ryuu’s damp track pants hanging just a couple inches from his face with disgust.

“Come on, Sunshine, we have a game to win.”

 

They lose, not that Kei really expected them to win in all honestly.  Considering half their starting lineup consisted of first years and their team was still getting used to playing together.  Kageyama was a good setter but he was so focused on winning that he was exhausting to play with for long, Kei can see a little of where the “King” nickname must have come from.  The only one really keeping up with him was Hinata; they were annoying together but it was amusing to watch the looks of shock and disbelief flood their opponents faces each time the shorty took a leap and managed to connect properly with the ball.

Ennoshita was a strong captain, even Kei could admit that, cool and collected on the court with a no nonsense presence that was backed up by Akaashi who pulled no punches when he stepped in.  Ryuu was in perfect form, only fitting for the ace of the team which he proudly reminded them of at least four or five times during the match.  His blocks were spot on and his spikes made Kei’s arms twinge in sympathy when they glanced off their opponents arms.  Nishinoya was fast.  Hinata was faster in terms of speed by Nishinoya had reaction times that still made Kei blink in surprise as the ball popped back into the air when he was sure it was bound to be a point for the other side.  As for himself, his blocks were effective and his spikes were passing.  But it’s not like he cared that much.  Why bother when there was already so much enthusiasm and, he grudgingly admitted, talent already on the team?  The only reason he was even a starter was because he was tall.  Not exactly genius level stuff there.  His spot could easily belong to Yamaguchi if he was a few centimeters taller.

 

He manages to get a seat to himself on the way back to school.  Kenma is sitting up by Kuroo this time.  Ryuu is sitting with a sad yet determined Hinata and Kei is just content to stare out the window.  He’s not sure how to explain the need to replace his bag, notebooks, and mp3 player all at once to his parents.  The notebooks wouldn’t be a huge problem.  In fact he’s pretty sure there’s some spare ones in either his or Akiteru’s closet.  His mp3 player had been a few years old so maybe he could convince his parents to get him one as an early birthday gift or something.  Say that it had fallen out of his pocket on the way home and was crushed by a car or something along those lines.  The bag, however, had been new at the beginning of the year.  A gift from his parents for starting high school and he’s stuck on if he should try to get a new one or maybe dig through the house and hope to find one of his or his brother’s old ones.

 

Someone nudges his shoulder and he blinks up at Akaashi’s tired frown.

“We’re back.  Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kei snaps, regretting it a little when Akaashi’s brows raise.  “I just would be better if everyone stopped asking me that.”

He follows Akaashi off the bus and joins the rest of the team near the gym.

“You guys did a great job,” Kuroo says with a smile.

“We lost,” Hinata pouts.

“True,” Daichi says.  “But you played your first game together.  And you’ll keep playing together and getting stronger from here.  Every team needs a place to start.”

“And with this game we got even more of a feel for your playing styles and can start working on how to use them all together effectively.  Which will come into play in a few weeks because we’ve managed to set up a joint training camp over the long weekend next month.  So we’ll have forms for you in a few days to take to your guardians to get signed for permission for that.”

“And as we promised everyone,” Daichi grins at something behind the group and they turn to see Sugawara leaning against a car in the parking lot next to Azumane and Bokuto.  “We’re taking you all out for food.”  Any lingering sadness from the loss disappears as most of the team shouts in happiness over the announcements of a joint training camp and getting free food and hurries over to where the rest of the adults are waiting for them.

 

The food is good even if Kei could really go without quite so much volleyball talk.  Hinata is insisting on recapping practically the entire match in nothing but sound effects.  Kageyama spends most of the time he isn’t stuffing his face sitting next to Kenma and staring at him, like he could get him to share his secrets of being a setter simply by drilling holes into his head with his eyes.  Ryuu and Nishinoya keep riling Hinata up even further by adding in their own retellings of certain plays with dramatic arm motions that has Yachi watching with concern, probably trying to figure out when these things happened and panicking that she missed such explosive parts of the game somehow.

He doesn’t know what the adults and captain and vice-captain are talking about.  They’re at the other end of the table, after all, and speaking quietly but Kei thinks he might be part of the topic, judging by the number of times he glances up and finds one of them watching him.  Yamaguchi, Narita, and Kinoshita are the only things keeping him from just walking out at the moment.  They at least are willing to talk about something that isn’t the game or strategy for future games or how cool it is when the ball goes wabam and whooshes around the court.

“It’s only like a month into school and I already feel like I’m failing.”  Narita laughs as he takes another helping of rice.  “I know they’re all concerned with setting us up to be responsible adults and survive university and stuff but seriously.”  

Kinoshita nods in sympathy and leans forward, voice dropping like he’s telling a huge secret.  “I already have my emergency panic playlist all set up for when I start feeling overwhelmed.  And plenty of snacks hidden in my room so my parents don’t confiscate them.”

“I bet Chikara will confiscate them before your parents do.”  Narita glances down to the other end of the table with a grin.  “He’s got his dad of the team pants on now that he’s officially the captain.”

“Oh man as long as he avoids the ugly dad sweaters,” Kinoshita cracks with a snicker.  Yamaguchi gives him a strange look and his eyes widen.  “No.  Seriously.  I have pictures.  It was frightening.”

“You still have pictures?”  Narita hisses out a whisper.  Kinoshita nods.  “How are you still alive?”

“Very carefully,” he whispers back, eyes darting between Kei and Yamaguchi, “and no one here is going to tell him therefore I can continue being alive.  Right?”


	6. Stop Being So Dumb, Tsukishima Kei

The next few weeks pass by in a steadily increasing blur of irritation for Kei.  Hinata and Kageyama are wound up tight over the prospect of the training camp, constantly bickering and sniping at each other over everything, including their crappy grades.  Ennoshita does his best to keep the peace but often has to send Akaashi over to calm them down with a stern glare and softly spoken words that instantly pale both teens faces.  He refuses to tell anyone what he says, as do Hinata and Kageyama.

Kenma is doing well with no longer being the starting setter.  He had informed a stuttering blushing Kageyama one night after practice that it wasn’t a big deal to him.  Kageyama was the better setter and Kemna preferred not being the center of attention anyway.

“That doesn’t mean I intend to sit on the bench forever though,” he said quietly as he slipped into his jacket, “I won’t give up quite that easily.  I’m still figuring out some tactics to use on you.”  Kageyama had gulped and bowed before hurrying out of the club room.

Ryuu and Nishinoya are practically attached at the hip.  Constantly practicing spikes and receives day and night.  Ryuu tries to get Kei to help him with blocking practice but Kei refuses.

He has things other than volleyball to focus on right now.

Things like how to keep his notebooks and bookbag in one piece.  Things like navigating conversations with his family.  Things like remembering to check his shoes for rocks and thumbtacks and frayed laces.  Things like talking to his brother again.  Things like packing an extra lunch to keep in the bottom of his bag.  Things like walking to school every day with his neighbors without the comfort of his music and headphones to drown out the noise.  Things like avoiding his second year teammate’s gazes when they find his things near, or in, their classrooms.

A tiny part of him is glad the idiots have apparently focused on him instead of Yamaguchi because he knows if they were bullying Yamaguchi as well he’d have to deal with Yamaguchi’s worrying and panic on top of his own frustration.  He’s still not intimidated or anything.  Just irritated and tired and done with it all.

Which is why Ryuu badgering him after practice for the third time this week about not being excited for the training camp starting that weekend is the last thing he wants to deal with.   _Volleyball_ is the last thing he wants to deal with right now.  Or think about.

But Ryuu is Ryuu and apparently _he’s_ done with not discussing the subject with Kei.

“Seriously.  You can at least pretend you’re not miserable at the thought of camp.”

“Why would I want to hang around with you all even more?  I already feel like we all spend nearly every waking moment together.”  The others are busy cleaning up, Narita and Hinata collecting volleyballs, Kenma sitting on one near the bench as he talks quietly with Kuroo and Yachi about something, Nishinoya is sweeping or he is supposed to be but it looks more like he’s attempting to chase Kageyama and Kinoshita around the gym with his broom while they still attempt to pull down the nets to store them.  Akaashi, Ennoshita, and Sawamura are deep in conversation.  He and Ryuu are supposed to be picking up stray towels and water bottles.  He picks up a towel that is damp with sweat that he’s not entirely sure has only been here one day.  The smell coming off it has got to be at least two days old.  “Why would I want to spend more time with this slovenly bunch of idiots?”  

Ryuu just stares at him like he’s never even seen Kei before.  Which is only fitting because Kei is starting to wonder if they even know each other anymore.  It’s been a niggling feeling in the back of his mind since sometime last year.  Since sometime not long after Ryuu started high school and got back into volleyball seriously.

His eyes drop to where Ryuu has a handful of towels clenched in his hand.  There are bruises from blocking practice, a taped finger jammed during a mistimed spike, a bandaged scrape from colliding with someone - Ennoshita if Kei remembers correctly.  Then his eyes drop further to the fading bruises painted across Ryuu’s shins and knees.  

He just doesn’t understand the point.  Why is Ryuu putting in this much effort?  Why are they all trying so hard?  For what?  A plaque on a wall to look at in fifteen years while cursing their aching bones?  Thoughts of what could have been and victories brushing against outstretched fingertips just to be snatched away at the last moment?  Faded memories of blood and sweat and loss?  The feel of defeat pounded into you again and again?

Memories of his brother’s shocked and ashamed face swim across his mind.

An overwhelming disgust for volleyball seeps up from his stomach as he looks away from his best friend, if that’s even what they really are anymore he’s not entirely sure to be honest.

Ryuu sighs.  “You don’t necessarily have to like us all, Kei, as long as you li-”

“I’ve told you before.”  He interrupts before Ryuu can even finish.  “I don’t like volleyball.”

“It’s a good thing you don’t have to like volleyball to play and be decent at it then, isn’t it?”  Ryuu snaps at him and takes a step closer, tossing the towels in his hand to the floor with a growl.

“Exactly,” Kei snaps back.  He isn’t sure if anyone is close enough to hear him and, honestly, he doesn’t really care right now.  He drops his armful of water bottles and towels and gives Ryuu a smirk.  “I can be decent without even trying.  So why should I even bother doing anything more for a high school volleyball team that’s really going to take me nowhere in life?  Why put the effort in to try to climb a wall that I’ll never see the other side of?”

“You are smart Kei, like unfairly smart.  But you’re so _dumb_ sometimes it hurts.”  Ryuu fists his hand in Kei’s shirt and yanks Kei forward until they’re nearly eye to eye.  “I’m only going to tell you this once.  Your brother hit a wall.  It happened.  It sucks.  I understand.  He was a hero to me when I was ten too, you know.”  Kei’s eyes are wide.  His breath is somewhere stuck in his chest because Ryuu is intense.  Ryuu is a force to be reckoned with and somewhere in the last year he had forgotten that.  He had forgotten the boy who had drug him into a backyard filled with fireflies.  The boy who had pulled him up a tree and showed him a huge world, arms wide and unafraid as Kei clung to the back of his shirt.  The boy he nearly burned his kitchen down with.  The boy he had mourned with.  The boy who had been his best friend for years despite Kei’s asshole attitude.  “Still,” Ryuu keeps talking, voice steadily getting louder and there’s not a thing Kei can do but stare, “he didn’t let that stop him from loving volleyball.  But you?  You didn’t even hit a wall.   _You_ built this fucking wall and now you refuse to do a damn thing about it.  You’re too fucking proud of being all cool and aloof that you refuse to even think that maybe, just maybe, you don’t hate volleyball as much as you wish you could.”

Ryuu’s fingers loosen in his shirt and he straightens slowly as Ryuu’s words echo around them, incredibly aware of the silent gym and of the eyes of their team on them.  But he can only focus on the way Ryuu shakes his head sadly.  The way his own jaw tightens as he looks down his nose at his best friend.  He turns and walks out of the gym, head high and cheeks flushed as everyone stares at him.  He refuses to let his hands shake while he grabs his stuff.  He refuses to look anywhere but directly ahead until he lets himself into his house and collapses onto his bed with a quiet huff and the realization that maybe he really fucked up this time.

 

 

Kei wakes up late the next morning and stares at his ceiling, debating whether he should even bother going to school.  He won’t make it in time for morning practice he already knows that.  If he doesn’t go he won’t be going to the weekend training camp either; they’re supposed to leave after school that afternoon and spend that night through Monday afternoon at a sports center a few hours away with another school, or maybe two schools, Kei hadn’t caught all the information.  He wasn’t sure if his teammates would even want him to come with.  Honestly it wouldn’t surprise him if they didn’t.  He wasn’t an easy person to get along with and other than Ryuu and possibly Yamaguchi he’s not sure any of them would even call themselves his friend.

He drags himself out of bed and through his morning routine anyway.  Trudging along the sidewalk to the school with his bag and gym bag packed for the weekend camp because… because…

Because maybe he doesn’t hate volleyball as much as he thinks he does, Ryuu’s voice says quietly as he spots the school on the horizon.  Maybe not trying is just a convenient excuse because he’s afraid to fail.  Afraid to try so hard for something he loves and still wind up empty handed, Ryuu’s voice continues.  Kei wonders when his inner-self started sounding like his childhood friend.

Maybe it had been the first time he had stared down someone almost two years older than him with Ryuu at his back, arms crossed and eyes narrowed as the bully looked between the two and eventually decided that it wasn’t worth it.

 

Kei almost wishes he had Ryuu at his back right now.  A warm presence backing him up with nerves of steel.

Because while he knows he can technically take on the group of idiotic bullies crowded around his shoe locker he also knows it would be easier with Ryuu here.

“Sorry to interrupt your fun but I’m late today, obviously,” Kei says with a blank look on his face as he steps up to the group.  There’s more this time than that first day.  Apparently they made friends.  Didn’t change anything in the end, really.  “But if you’d like to wait five minutes and come back my shoes will be inside the locker then.”

“Well, well, well.  Four-Eyes.  Fancy meeting you here,” the leader sneers and leans against the row of lockers casually.

“Seeing as how it’s my shoe locker I can’t say as I’m surprised to be here.  Though I can understand your confusion since you usually wait until I’m not around my stuff to scurry in and fuck with it like scared rats.”

He really should probably shut up.  But he’s tired.  He’s already missed morning practice - though he stowed his gym bag in the club room before coming into the main building - and he’s far too late for his first class to even show up to it at this point.  It’s been a very very long few weeks and he is just tired of all the pointless crap he’s had to put up with until today.

“You’ve got one hell of a mouth on you,” the leader frowns at him.  “Maybe we should help you with that.”

Kei glances at the teens around them, remembers his bag and notebooks and headphones, remembers his lunches and the bruises and cuts on the bottom of his feet, remembers the lectures from his parents about being more careful with his things.  He remembers Yamaguchi’s frightened stare the first day of school.  Akaashi’s worried glances.  Nishinoya’s frustrated growl.  Kenma’s quiet voice sounding apologetic for not being able to find all of Kei’s stuff.

He remembers all of that and unclenches his fists.

He feels something swirling in the pit of his stomach, the sensation of being dragged up and up and up through ever thinning branches with a warm hand around his trembling wrist.

“Oh, please.  Please try it,” Kei says with a grin.

 

Ryuu finds him just before lunch.  He’s sitting in the corner of one of the bathrooms near the second year’s classrooms.  Apparently it’s far enough away to bar any sort of normal usage - either that or the bullies had made it clear no one was to go near it in the mornings - because he hasn’t seen or heard a single person come near it since the other guys left.  Kei takes pride that they left hunched over and bloody and cursing him.  Four against one and he still came out the more or less victor.  Ryuu hurries in and if Kei’s face didn’t hurt so much he’d be laughing at the double take Ryuu does, one hand itching his head and the other tucked in the waistband of his pants.

“Holy shit, Kei?  What happened?”

“You should see the other guys.” Kei gives as big of a smile as he can before his lip hurts too much to do more.

“What?”  Kei’s lip is, or was, busted open.  He’s pretty sure the bleeding stopped awhile ago but it’s hard to tell because all he’s been able to taste is blood since the first punch landed.  He thinks he’s got a black eye but he doesn’t think his nose is broken.  But it was a close call.  Ryuu crouches in front of him and winces in sympathy when he brushes his hand across Kei’s cheek.  “Wait.  I probably did see them.  If they look anything like you do now.  There were a couple second years I remember seeing with their faces all smashed up.”

Kei sighs.  “I hoped they looked worse than me.”

“Where are your glasses?  They didn’t break them did they?”

Kei blinks for a moment and then points to the sinks.  “Over there I think.  I tossed them aside.”  He closes his eyes with another sigh and drops his head back to the cool wall.  “My best friend always told me to never fight with my glasses on if possible.  Something about being worried they would shatter and make me go blind so I couldn’t play volleyball and hunt fireflies with him.”

“Your best friend sounds stupid.  He should have told you never to fight without backup instead.”  Ryuu snags his glasses out of one of the sinks and holds them up to the light to check for cracks or scratches on the lenses.  Then he comes back and helps Kei to his feet.  “How long have you been in here?”

Kei grunts and leans against Ryuu’s shoulder for a moment before pulling up to his full height and opening his eyes.  “I dunno.  Sometime this morning.”  Ryuu looks up at him and clenches his hand in Kei’s shirt.  It’s a move so reminiscent of the previous day Kei almost laughs.

“I’m gonna hunt those bastards down and fucking kill them,” Ryuu snarls.  Kei does laugh this time.  “What?”

“Yesterday I wasn’t sure you would want to be my friend still and today you want to beat the shit out of someone for me.”

“Did you hit your head on something?”  Ryuu runs his fingers along Kei’s scalp as best as he can to check for bumps.  “Jeez you’re being _dumb_ again.  Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend?”

“Why would anyone want to?”

Ryuu stares up at him with his mouth hanging open for what feels like forever then he licks his lips and shakes his head with a sigh.  “Let’s get you to the nurse's office.  If we’re lucky no one’s in there right now.”

The worst part of the afternoon, other than the throbbing of his lip and nose and stiffness of his side where he had gotten kneed, was lying on a bed in the nurse’s office with Akaashi standing over him and staring at him.  Kei had been sure he was going to lectured or maybe even kicked off the team or something and the longer Akaashi stared at him the more his stomach started churning.  But then Akaashi had simply let out a quiet breath and patted Kei’s shoulder lightly before leaving.

“Don’t be late for the bus.” Was all he said, voice quiet and stern, as he shut the door behind him.

The best part of the afternoon turns out to be watching Hinata run face first into Kageyama's back and sending them both sprawling on the ground when Kageyama stops in surprise when Kei walks into the club room to grab his bag after school.

“What happened to your face?”  Hinata whispers loudly when they untangle themselves.

“What happened to yours?”  Kei retorts and reaches past them to grab his bag.  He hears a snicker behind him and glances over his shoulder to see Yamaguchi with his hand over his mouth.  Another tiny snicker slips past his fingers and Kei rolls his eyes.

Nishinoya comes flying up the steps and barrels into the club room, eyes wide and angry when they spot the bruises on Kei’s face.

“I’m gonna kill em,” he spits out.  “They are so, so dead.”

“We’ve discussed this already,” Ennoshita says almost tiredly as he steps into the room with most of the rest of the team behind him.  “No one is killing anyone.  Nishinoya.”  He gives the second year a meaningful stare.  “Tanaka.”  Kei looks over to the corner where Ryuu has a scowl on his face.  “Kenma.”  Kei’s eyebrows raise in surprise when he glances around and notes the setter standing behind Ennoshita with a frustrated look on his face.

Once again he’s expecting a lecture.  Maybe an accusing stare.  To be told to grab his bag and go home.

He’s surprised when Ennoshita looks at him with an almost sad smile when the rest of the team files out to the bus.

“I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“How do you know it’s not my fault?”

“Because you’re mouthy and sarcastic but you don’t start anything serious with anyone.  You throw insults at Kageyama and Hinata, which if you could tone it down at all that would be awesome but not the point here.  You tease.  What you say really doesn’t have much malice behind it at all.  We all know that, even if some of us let it rile us up.”  Ennoshita laughs awkwardly and shrugs.  “I guess what I’m trying to say is we know you wouldn’t start a fight.  Not one with fists anyway.”

Ennoshita locks the door when they leave and glances over his shoulder at Kei.  “Just remember that we’re a team.  We all have each other’s backs.”

 

The lecture, it turns out, was simply waiting until they all settled on the bus.  They’re all much closer together this time, Kei notes as he slips into an empty seat, he assumes it’s because they’ve spent more time together.  Gotten to know each other better and crap like that.  But the more he notes everyone giving him glances and then looking at each other he wonders if it’s something else instead.  If they’re closer together to give him a sense of security or something.  Not that he really needs it.

“I’m only going to tell you all this one time,” comes from the front of the bus and they all look up into a pair of brown eyes filled with sadness.  No.  Not sadness, Kei realizes.  Disappointment. Sugawara meets each of their eyes and Kei doesn’t even have a moment to wonder why Sugawara is on the bus giving this lecture considering he’s not a staff member here.  Technically he has no authority over any of them - other than the guardian-type authority over Nishinoya, Kageyama, and Yamaguchi - but somehow that makes the look he gives them all even more powerful.  “Fighting is not allowed.  You all are so much better than that.  You know better than to get into fist fights.  No matter the cause,” he adds before Nishinoya can speak up.  “No matter who they are for or versus,” he says as Ryuu opens his mouth.  “Any disagreements can be settled on the court, with your words, by simply walking away, or by getting an adult.  That’s one of the things we’re here for, after all.”  

“You know,” Kuroo leans over the back of the driver’s seat with a shit-eating grin, “unless they throw the first punch then fighting has to be the answer while the quickest kid comes and gets one of us.”

“Kuroo.  Please stop.”  Sugawara’s smile is both beautiful and frightening and Kei suddenly understands what Yamaguchi had meant a couple weeks ago when he said something about never being brave enough to make his guardian angry.  

“Regardless of who threw the first punch one kid running to get us isn’t going to help much.”  Sawamura says from his seat.  Kei swears he can hear the man’s gulp even from his own seat halfway down the line when Sugawara turns and looks at Sawamura.

“No.  Fighting.  Because what if the fight doesn’t go your way?  Hmm?  Then you just got yourself or someone close to you hurt and that solves nothing.”  His eyes linger on Kei for only a moment but it’s enough.  He feels bad knowing the whole team is getting this disappointed look and lecture because he was a sarcastic asshole to some stupid bullies.  He opens his mouth to say something, maybe to say that they shouldn’t all be getting lectured since he was the one who started it, he was the one who provoked them, when Ennoshita places his hand on his shoulder from the seat behind him.

“We all have each other’s backs,” he murmurs and lightly squeezes Kei’s shoulder.

Sugawara ends his lecture with a simple, “I’m sure we won’t be needing to have this conversation again, will we?” before settling into the seat next to Sawamura and gesturing for Kuroo to get going.


	7. Cats and Guard Dogs

“I can’t believe you have the nerve to show yourself here like this you traitor!”  The old man’s voice echoes through the gymnasium as the entire Karasuno team stumbles to a stop.

“I can’t believe you’re still alive,” Kuroo shouts back, “you old cat.”

They shout back and forth, closing the distance between each other with grins, as their teams watch each other warily.

“Is Kuroo in trouble?”  Yamaguchi asks softly as their coach gives the old man a bow.

“Not really,” Akaashi answers.  “He went to high school here and Nekomata was his coach.”

“Karasuno and Nekoma used to be these huge rivals!”  Hinata pipes up as he pushes to the front of the team and bounces on the balls of his feet, eyes huge and sparkling.  “Bokuto and Kuroo told me about it.  But that was ages and ages and  _ ages  _ ago.”

“Ages and ages?”  Sawamura stops in front of the team and gives Hinata a look.  “Kuroo and I are the same age you know.  Just how old do you think we are?”

“So you and Kuroo used to be rivals?”  Ennoshita steps around Hinata, deflecting Sawamura’s half hearted glare with a smile.  “That explains a lot.”

“Oh and just what do you mean by that?  And before you answer remember that Suga played on the same team as me.”

Ennoshita glances back to where Sugawara is bringing up the rear of their group and smiles when Sugawara looks up waves at him.  “I mean nothing.”

“Good answer.”

 

Kei sighs and leans back against the wall gingerly as he watches Nishinoya chasing Nekoma’s libero around the gym.  The plan of action for the first hour or so was to simply let the teams get to know each other a bit while the adults talked before doing a practice match.  Hinata apparently sees it as some kind of challenge to go against the largest people he can find, with Ryuu there to cower behind of course, and is currently on the other side of the gym with what Kei can only see as a giant eager kitten and a giant husky puppy.  Ennoshita would probably be talking to Nekoma’s captain if he wasn’t the libero Nishinoya was chasing around.  The others are mingling rather normally, though Kageyama could stand to look a little less constipated as he attempts to stare down Nekoma’s setter.

“I feel sorry for him,” Kenma says as he settles down next to Kei with his chin on his knees and watches Kageyama shuffle awkwardly towards the Nekoma setter.

“But not sorry enough to intervene?”

“Nope.  He  _ still  _ does it to me sometimes.  It’s unnerving.”

“You know it’s difficult to get to know the other team when you just sit on the sidelines by yourselves.”  Kenma freezes at the voice and hunches forward over his knees a little, hair hanging in his face.  It’s a Nekoma player, the vice-captain Kei thinks.  He’s leaning against the wall next to them and looking over the gym.

“Yet here you are.  Come to us without an ounce of effort on our part.”  The vice-captain gives them a look and Kenma inches a touch closer when he looks away.  “Not everyone does everything with that level of enthusiasm,” Kei points to where Hinata is now bouncing around the two tallest Nekoma members and gesturing excitedly.

“Point taken.”  He smiles down at them.  “But it wouldn’t hurt to mingle a little, would it?”

Kei rolls his head against the wall and looks up at the older teen.  “I’m already hurt.  Don’t want to risk it any further.”

“Ok.  And him?”  Kei stares up at the other teen, eyes locked, as he slowly grins, cracked lip twinging in pain.

“Maybe he’s my guard dog.  What’s it matter to you?”

The Nekoma vice-captain holds his hands up in surrender and pushes up from the wall.  “Okay, okay.  Got it.  Leave you alone.  See you on the court.”

They watch him walk away and settle onto the bench next to Akaashi.  Kenma hugs his knees a little tighter for a moment and then leans towards Kei.

“Woof woof,” he mumbles.

Akaashi and Nekoma’s vice-captain glance over at them, probably discussing Kei’s bad attitude or something, and Kei feels a bubble of laughter wriggling up his chest.

“Good boy,” Kei mumbles back.  He bites the inside of his cheek and glances to the side, meeting Kenma’s eyes with a snicker.  Kenma snickers back, eyes widening in surprise at the sound coming from him, which just makes Kei laugh louder.  They’re still quiet enough that no one can hear them, though he catches Kuroo watching him with a strange look on his face.

 

“So,” Nekomata says from his spot on the bench a few feet away from Kei.  He has no idea why the coach is sitting on the Karasuno side of the court instead of his own but that’s not really of any import to him.  He’s just busy being glad he’s being allowed to sit most of this game out.  “Kuroo.  Where’s that boy of yours that you always snuck out with during training camps?”  Kuroo sputters and Kei looks over and meets Nishinoya’s eyes.  They both look back to the court, but not before sneaking a glance at Kuroo’s reddening face.  “Don’t try to deny it.  You don’t get bruises that size on your neck and collarbones from normal volleyball practice.”  Nekomata laughs.  “I mean the Sawamura kid brought his back with him.”

Sawamura turns bright red as Sugawara leans forward and smiles at Coach Nekomata.  “Oh, Coach.”  That smile sends a shiver down Kei’s spine and he hopes that he never really has that version of his smile directed at him.  “Daichi has two of us now.  Asahi just couldn’t make it to help out with the camp.”

The call comes for Nishinoya to swap and he gives Kei a wide eyed grin as Yamaguchi switches out with him.

“Did I miss something?”  Yamaguchi settles onto the bench next to Kei.

“Nothing I want to think about or repeat,” Kei replies.

 

The practice game continues without any issues and thankfully without anymore scarring conversations.  Kei is content to sit out for most of the game, only coming in a for a few minutes near the end along with Kenma, Kinoshita, and Narita so that the adults can get a feel for everyone’s playing.  Or something.  Kei doesn’t really care because he’s busy staring innocently at Nekoma’s vice-captain when he looks up to see Kenma and Kei both coming on at the same time.

“Guard dog, indeed.”

 

Kei makes it through the group meal that night without too much fuss.  He only glares at one Nekoma player until they back away from him and he only snaps at one person.  And that person is Ryuu so he simply rolls his eyes at Kei and pulls him along to a table near the corner.  All he really wants to do is crawl into a hot bath or shower, grab a couple pain killers, and then go to sleep.

“Oh my god not the Small Giant story again,” he mumbles into the table he has his forehead pressed into.  Hinata is telling the story of how he knew he just  had to play volleyball and just  had  to come to Karasuno to an enthralled audience of the two tall Nekoma players - something or other Lev and Aone he vaguely remembers as he scrunches his nose at the odd smell from the table - and a not so enthralled but mildly amused audience of most of the rest of Nekoma.

“Aw come on Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says quietly.  “Everyone has reasons they play and reasons they chose Karasuno.”

“Not everyone,” he replies.  He pushes up from the table with a muttered “Going to take a shower,” before wandering away from the dining room.  

His footsteps echo through the empty hallways.  He’s sure there will be scary stories tonight and can only hope he’s passed out before they start.  Not because they scare him.  No matter what Ryuu said.  He just didn’t want to have to be awake to deal with the others freaking out and panicking over stupid stuff like ghosts and demons and who knew what.  Probably soul-sucking octopi or something if he knew Ryuu, which he did.

The image of Hinata freaking out over soul-sucking octopi with glowing eyes and dripping fangs - because of course they would have them, Nishinoya would be sure to add those details in as surely as Ryuu would add skin melting ooze - and keeping him up all night makes him cringe as he digs out his clothes and towel.  He’s so caught up in the thoughts of soul-sucking, skin melting, glowing octopi that he nearly drops his stuff in surprise when he turns and sees Sugawara leaning against the door.  He’ll admit to the yelp of surprise, if only because Sugawara was the only one around to hear it and he knows there’s no way to deny it when Sugawara’s eyebrows raise ever so slightly as he scrambles to keep his stuff in his hands.

“You know,” Sugawara says as Kei composes himself.  “As a responsible adult I should tell your parents about what seems to have happened today.”  His eyes linger on the bruises on Kei’s face and he licks at the cut on his lip, suddenly self-conscious and feeling every bit his fifteen years young self.  Even if he’s a head taller than Sugawara he feels tiny when the man looks at him.  “You really should be reprimanded.  Detention.  Grounded.  Something.”

“I’m the one who got beat up,” Kei says defensively.  The last thing he wants is to have to tell his parents about this and get lectures about who knew what.  Probably about how Tanaka Ryuunosuke has been dragging him along down the wrong paths since the moment they met.  But that was stupid.  If nearly every hard part of his life could be tied back to volleyball then it was only fair to say that most of the easiest and most exciting parts could be tied back to Ryuu.

Sugawara sighs.  “I know you, Tsukishima.  You’re Tanaka’s best friend.  I’m sure there’s no way you didn’t give as good as you got there.  From what I heard Yuu saying about some of the guys from his class you may have even given better to a couple of them.”  He hands over a bottle and Kei frowns down at the pain relievers.  “Like I said.  As a responsible adult I should tell your parents.”

Kei’s eyes flicker between the pain relievers and Sugawara’s patient smile.  “But?”

“But I’m not a teacher and I wasn’t there so for all I know you got hit in the face with a volleyball during your weekend training camp.”

“That sounds like what happened to me,” he says cautiously as he steps into the hallway and pulls the door shut behind them.

“And I’m sure that you’ll take my little lecture on the bus as a purely precautionary speech about playing safely and knowing you can come to us adults, any of us, if you need help.”

“Okay.”

“Seriously, Tsukishima.  You’re Tadashi’s friend and Yuu and Tobio like you as well.  We’d be more than happy to have you stop by after school or for a meal.  Be it for practice, homework, or just a change of scenery.”

“Thank you,” he mutters, cheeks flushed as he turns and heads for the showers.  

Of course he knew he was welcome there, Yamaguchi had told him that weeks ago.  Said that Sugawara and Azumane and Sawamura were kind of natural parents, whatever that meant, and that they had always hoped their home would be comfortable enough for anyone to come to.  But Yamaguchi telling him and Sugawara telling him were two totally different things.  Yamaguchi’s words were friendly and welcoming.  They felt a lot like it had when Ryuu had slapped a key into Kei’s hands years ago and said he might as well have it since he was over all the time anyway.

Sugawara’s words were warm and comforting.  Like he was somehow offering Kei a safe port on a stormy night.  The feel behind the words reminds him of one of Saeko’s hugs, almost a little too tight and stifling but at the same time making him feel like he was home in a way that even his own bedroom didn’t manage some days.

He shakes the water from his hair with a sigh and grabs his towel.

He needed to get through this weekend first and then he could worry about things like feeling at home in his teammates’ houses.


	8. (Volley)ball is Life

“It’s a shame we had to ruin that mouth of yours,” the voice says as they gather around him.  Kei responds by spitting a mouthful of blood against the teen’s uniform.  He had already landed a dozen blows on the four teens surrounding him.  A fist finds his nose and he squints up at the second years around him, blinking through the pain.  He had tossed his glasses towards the sink when they had first shoved him into the bathroom so everything is a bit fuzzy.

“If you like my mouth so much maybe you should try kissing it instead of hitting it.”  Kei licks gingerly at the cut on his lip, swallowing the slow trickle of blood down the back of his throat.

“You saying I wanna kiss you?  You think I’m gay or something?”

Ah.  There was nothing quite like the insecurity of a teenage boy’s sexual preferences.  Kei could work with this.  At this point about the only thing he had left to do was to rile them up and just get it all over with.

“I’m just saying that you talk an awful lot about my mouth.  It’s okay, you know.  No judgement here.”  Kei snickers.  “Only thing I’ll judge you for is having a really pathetic right hook.”

That earns him a knee to the side and followed by a swift backhand to the cheek and the world swims for a moment as he rests his forehead against the cool wall of the bathroom.

Breath washes over his cheek and he thinks it seems wrong that it smells fruity.  Not rancid or gross or somehow evil.  “We’re gonna mess you up good.”

 

Thunder cracks and Kei pushes himself against the wall with a wince, eyes gritty and vision hazy in the dark.

It wasn’t a nightmare, he told himself.  At most it was a bad dream; a crappy rewind of his crappy morning hidden in a layer of fuzz and pain.  He stands and winces at the pull of muscles along his side.  He tugs his sweatshirt on and reaches for his glasses with a yawn.

Maybe a quick walk outside, or at least to the little courtyard down the hall, will clear his head enough to go back to sleep.

It’s not hard for him to slip out of the room, tiptoeing around his teammates as they sleep soundly through the storm outside.  Of course they’re sound asleep.  Most of them had spent most of the afternoon running themselves stupid and exhausting themselves.

Once again his footsteps echo through the empty hallway as his mind is filled, not with thoughts of his recent dream, but back to thoughts of soul-sucking, skin melting, glowing octopi.  He almost wishes now that he had been awake to hear whatever crazy stories Ryuu and the others might have come up with.  They were always pretty good stories.  Even the ones about killer dinosaurs, which are always horribly improbable and, more importantly, wildly inaccurate.  Whoever heard of a Brontosaurus eating meat?

He pauses when he spots the door to the courtyard already open.  There was no way the adults just left it open for the night.  

Does he really want to potentially talk to whoever else is awake at whatever time it is?  More importantly, who would be awake?  Maybe one of the adults up keeping an eye on everyone?  There were two full teams of teenagers here after all.  Maybe if it was Sugawara or someone he could get a couple more pain killers.  That would easily take enough of the edge off to put him back to sleep.

The figure sitting on the picnic table stiffens when he steps through the doorway and he can instantly see that it’s not one of the adults.  He can’t make out who it is until he takes a couple more steps.

By the time he realizes it’s Kageyama it’s too late to turn around without it being awkward.  Not that joining Kageyama in the courtyard is any less awkward.  Dealing with Kageyama in general is awkward.

He stares as Kei steps around the picnic table and settles on the very edge of the bench.  He can feel Kageyama’s eyes on him as he watches the rain fall on the courtyard.  Lightning flashes and Kei holds his breath until the thunder crashes through.  As the last rumble fades away he glances to the side.

“Do I have something on my face?”

“A bruise.”

“Wow.  Captain Obvious.  Thank you.”

“You asked.”  If Kei didn’t know any better he’d think that Kageyama was pouting.  Then again maybe he was pouting.  He doesn’t really know him that well after all.

Kenma’s words from earlier echo in his head and he has to agree that Kageyama’s stare  _ could  _ be unnerving, even to him.  But tonight it feels different somehow.  There is weight to it and it’s stifling, especially here in the dark.  Like a heavy blanket draped over his head.  With the rain falling on the roof of the overhang they’re seated under that heavy gaze of Kageyama’s reminds him of hiding under blankets in the summer with Ryuu during thunderstorms.  Ryuu always kind of sucked with thunderstorms when they were younger.

“Why are you out here?”  Kei finally snaps when he gets tired of Kageyama’s stare, when it starts to feel too eerily familiar.

Kageyama shrugs and looks back out to the rain.  “Couldn’t sleep.  You?”

Kei stares out at the rain, holding his breath between lightning strike and thunderclap like he and Ryuu had done as kids all those years ago, huddled together and sharing light headed giggles at their actions, breaths warm and mingling and smelling of minty toothpaste and the candies Ryuu always seemed to have stashed in his room.

“You know it’s, um, okay to admit to having a nightmare.”  Kageyama mumbles stiltedly.  “There’s nothing wrong with it.”  He hurries to add when Kageyama gives him a look.  “It doesn’t make you weak or anything.  Especially after the day you had.”

Kei raises his eyebrows as Kageyama stumbles through his words.  He can’t help the smirk creeping onto his face or the amusement in his voice.  “Are you, uh,” he clears his throat.  “Are you trying to comfort me?”

“I’m just trying to say that there’s nothing wrong with nightmares or not being able to sleep,” he says defensively.

"What would the ‘King’ know about stuff like that?"  The glare Kageyama gives him is impressive but it really does nothing to Kei.  Kei is a master of irritated and exhausted and done with the world stares after all.  “Oh, sore spot?”

Lightning flashes and Kei holds his breath, waiting for the thunderclouds on Kageyama’s face to pass.

“I have trouble focusing on a lot of things.”  Kageyama’s voice is low, hiding under rain hitting the roof above them, and Kei shifts to the side to hear him better.  “So school is tough.  But when I find something I like I get really focused.”

_ Scary intense . _  Hinata’s voice supplies inside Kei’s head.  A half formed memory from some practice last week when Kageyama had been incredibly wound tight and focused.  _ Like laser eyes focus.  Zoom!  Right on target! _

“Not everyone understands it.  Not all the homes I was in could handle… me.  Other kids,” Kageyama bites his lips and tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling with a sigh, “I suck at people stuff.”

“People stuff,” Kei deadpans.

“Shut up.”  There’s no bite to Kageyama’s words.  They feel almost friendly.  God knows Kei had told Ryuu to shut up enough times with a half formed smile that it could practically be seen as a form of endearment or something.  “‘Though determined Tobio can be a difficult child at times and has trouble interacting with others.’”  His voice is mocking and it’s so unusual coming from Kageyama that Kei almost laughs. “I don’t deal with people well.  I never say what I want to say right and stuff.  So they always thought I was being demanding and hard to handle.”  Kei can’t help but be a little surprised at how calm Kageyama sounds.  Especially since this is Kei he’s talking to and the two of them have barely spoken other than to throw insults and snap at each other even with all their time practicing together.  

“I was in a lot of different homes. They took me in expecting trouble so they always found trouble.  My last year of middle school I got really focused on volleyball.  Really really focused and it just seemed like no one else took it seriously.  I got frustrated.  Pushed harder.  They started calling me ‘King’ then.”  Ah, there’s the emotion.  The bitterness.  “And when I needed them to have my back in that last game they abandoned me.”  The sadness.  “Not long after that they moved me to Suga’s house.  Sometimes when I try to sleep that’s still waiting for me.  That nothingness behind me.  So I don’t sleep.”

The air is still between them, the falling rain a buzz of white noise in the background as Kageyama falls silent and Kei can’t figure out where that sudden burst of words from came from.  Why Kageyama is suddenly sharing something so personal with Kei of all people.  “I came out for some fresh air not a heart to heart.  Why are you telling me this?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”  Kageyama shrugs and stares out at the falling rain.  “And you listened.”

 

For not being able to sleep the night before Kageyama has plenty of energy the next day.  He’s filled with glares and grunts and insults thrown at Hinata like none other and Hinata, well, Hinata is never short on energy and today is no exception.  He meets each of Kageyama’s glares with a sunny grin, each grunt with an enthusiastic noise in return - a whole range of whoas and hmms and gwahs echoing through the gym - and each insult is happily returned.  Cries for more tosses and more tosses and ‘just one more’ ring in Kei’s ears until he’s sure he’s going to go deaf.

“If he would shut up that would be amazing,” Kei mutters to himself as he takes a swallow of water from his bottle.

“Aw he’s just having fun.”  Kuroo settles onto the bench, makes some notes on a clipboard that could only be Yachi’s unless Kuroo has started decorating things with shiny star and heart stickers which in all honestly probably wouldn’t surprise him that much, and then grins up at Kei.  “You can have fun too you know.  Go.  Be a high schooler.  Enjoy yourself.”

Hinata goes running across the court and stops inches from slamming into Kenma with a full body tackle, shouting out an apology before spinning around him and darting off towards someone else.  

“If you’re saying I should run around and shout like an idiot no thank you.”  Kuroo laughs quietly.

“You don’t have to act like Shouyou or Kageyama to enjoy yourself.  Look at Keiji.”  Kuroo nods to where Akaashi is talking with some Nekoma players and Kei assumes that the fairly relaxed set of his shoulders and the way he’s idly spinning the volleyball in his hands are signs of his enjoyment.  Or something.  “Or talk to Suga and Daichi.  They love volleyball, or they did in high school, but neither of them are really Shouyou level of enthusiastic about it.”

He looks over to the adults in question, Sugawara cheerfully handing out towels and reigning in Hinata with a look and Sawamura going over some strategy or another with Ennoshita and Ryuu.  Adults whose lives revolve around volleyball trying to tell him how to or not to be enthusiastic about volleyball.  How rich.

“Volleyball is not my life.”

“I never said it was, or that it had to be.  Putting effort into volleyball doesn’t automatically make it your life’s ambition or anything, Tsukishima.”

Why is everyone so strung up on him putting in effort?  He shows up for practices and participates.  Shouldn’t that be enough for a stupid club?

What more do they want from him?


	9. We're A Real Team Now

Coming home from the weekend training camp with a bruised face and mostly healed split lip goes over about as well as he had expected it to.  His father raises an eyebrow and asks if it’s serious, clearly not entirely believing Kei’s monotone explanation of getting hit in the face with a volleyball.  His “If you’d see the way Hinata serves you’d understand,” merely gets him a huff of almost amusement and a fond shake of his father’s head.  His mother hovers, hands fluttering away around his face, gently pressing his cheek and lip as she worries her own lip between her teeth, a sure sign she’s worried for him.

“Oh he’ll be okay,” his father says from the kitchen doorway where he’s been watching them for the last twenty minutes.  His mother makes a noise and cups Kei’s face in her hands, fingers soft and sure against his cheeks.  “If he says he got hit with a volleyball that’s what happened.  He’s got no reason to lie to us about it.  Just be glad his glasses didn’t break or something.”  Kei meets his father’s eyes.  Luckily it only lasts until his mother steps between them to wrap her husband in a hug.  His father knows, Kei realizes, he always knows.  He’s always been able to read Kei and it was only because of the fact he knew Kei could take care of himself well enough, especially with his friends at this side, that he let Kei’s little lies slide.

They watch each other, Kei’s father holding his mother in his arms securely, until the doorbell rings.  His father steps to the side and nods towards the door with a small smile.

“I’m sure it’s probably one of the neighbors,” he says.  “They seem rather fond of you.”

 

Ryuu throws something at his face the moment the door swings open and Kei scrambles to catch it.  His phone charger smacks his knee as Ryuu laughs.

“It somehow got shoved into my bag.  Figure you’d need it before tomorrow.”  There’s another cord tangled around his charger and he starts to untangle them with a sigh.

“You really should be more careful with these sorts of things you know.”

“Don’t worry about it.  It’s just an old pair of headphones.  Just keep them until you get new ones.  I barely use em anyway.”  Kei stares at the tangle of wires in his hand with a frown.  “I mostly brought em with so I wouldn’t have to listen to Noya’s snoring.”  Ryuu chuckles and waves before jogging back across the street.

 

It’s not an old pair of headphones.  Kei thinks it’s actually the pair of earbuds he saw hanging from Nishinoya’s neck a few weeks ago and he’s not entirely sure how to feel about that.  About getting these gifts from his second year teammates.  He eyes the school bag on his desk chair.  It had come from Akaashi, handed over with a small smile of understanding and the insistence that Kei take it because Kuroo insisted on buying them new ones every year even though he and Kenma were very good about keeping their things in good condition.  He knew this was a fact.  He had seen the pile of book bags and gym bags in their closet one day.  But still.  He was used to well worn hand-me-downs from his brother.  Not this practically new stuff from his teammates.

He spins the chair with his foot and watches the light glint off the buttons on the bag.  One had come from Kenma, some prize that had been with a new game he got that he didn’t care much for but had pinned onto Kei’s bag with a pleased look on his face last week.  Two were from Ryuu and they were the other half of a set he had found from some science camp he and Kei had participated in years ago.  The last two were obviously from Yachi.  Or at least it was obvious to everyone on the team since it was a bright orange and pink sparkly star pinned right next to a neon green smiley face.

He had gotten some strange looks but those were easy enough to ignore.  The looks didn’t bother him.

What bothered him was that he didn’t  _ need _ to be taken care of by the second years, didn’t need this subtle claim that they were looking out for him.  He didn’t need to be watched over by the third years, he thinks as he remembers how Narita and Kinoshita had appeared on either side of him the day after Nishinoya found his lunch box and chatted with him the entire way to practice and how Ennoshita had been seen more and more often wandering through the first and second year hallways between classes and breaks.  His didn’t need his fellow first years to protect him, no matter how much Hinata crowed when he discovered he was technically the oldest first year and therefore in charge of them all.

The only things he’s ever needed before are himself, his quick mind, and Ryuu there for back up and the occasional midnight adventure through the park.

  
He may not need anything else but as he stumbles to the corner with Ryuu the next morning, wiping the sleep from his eyes with a yawn with Nishinoya’s earbuds hanging around his neck, and sees Yamaguchi and Nishinoya standing with breakfast treats for them as Kageyama and Hinata go running past he can’t help but think that not needing something isn’t necessarily the same as not wanting it.

 

 

Twin cries of “Kiyoko!” rocket through the gym and Kei nearly misses the startled toss Kenma puts up for him.  It hits the floor - inbounds - without a single problem.  Not because of any skill or effort on his or Kenma’s part.  But because Ryuu, who was supposed to be blocking him with Hinata, and Nishinoya, who should have been there to recieve it, were gone and across the gym in a flash.  A pleased squeak from nearby signals Yachi’s sudden interest as Ennoshita and Narita exchange glances through the net.

 

Kei looks towards the main gym door in time to see a girl step to the side just as Ryuu and Nishinoya reach her and wind up sprawling over themselves in an attempt to get near her.  She props a cardboard box on her hip and smiles politely when Ennoshita calls for a break and jogs up to her to take a bag from her shoulder.

 

“Who’s that?”  Yamaguchi asks as he joins Kei in watching the two second years making idiots of themselves near the door.  The girl tucks her long dark hair behind her ear and ducks her head down a little, cheeks flushed, when Yachi hurries over with a huge smile, Hinata on her heels.

 

“That’s Kiyoko,” Akaashi answers.  He picks up the volleyball Hinata had abandoned with a shake of his head.  It’s a move that’s become common to see in the gym.  Actually both the picking up after and fond head shake at Hinata are pretty common for most of the team.  It’s almost automatic after just a couple months.  “She was the manager before Yachi.  She graduated last year.  Obviously Noya and Tanaka have a crush on her still.”

 

Kei vaguely remembers Ryuu going all starry eyed and poetic about his volleyball manager last year but doesn’t remember a lot of details because honestly he often zoned out when Ryuu talked about volleyball last year.  Mostly he remembers Ryuu going on and on about how beautiful their manager was and how jealous all the other teams were because they didn’t have a volleyball goddess to manage their team.  She is very pretty, Kei notes as Kuroo calls the team over, average height, long dark hair that kind of seems to shimmer in the gym lights, a soft voice, tiny beauty mark on her chin, eyes observant yet kind behind her silver framed glasses.  He can understand Ryuu’s fascination with her.  The way Ryuu is eyeing the team and subtly putting more space between Kiyoko and the group of boys reminds him of that first day with Ryuu proclaiming that if anyone messed with Yachi they’d have to deal with him and gives off more of a protective feel than an actual romantic interest in her.

 

“Thanks to all of Yachi’s hard work and creativity we now have some amazing posters to put up around the school and town to promote the team.”  Yachi turns red from Sawamura’s praises and buries her face in her hands before turning and hiding behind Akaashi.  Kuroo pulls out a poster from the bag and unrolls it to show the team.  Everyone makes impressed noises, Hinata cheering and tugging Yachi back out from behind Akaashi with a grin.  “Which we will be expecting you all to help with later this week.  With any luck we can earn some funds to pay for a joint summer training camp before the Spring High tournament.”  

 

“And,” Kuroo rolls the poster back up and claps his hands together with a grin, “we have another awesome thing for you guys.  Thanks to our wonderful ex-manager’s skills.”

 

“All I did was wash them.”  Kiyoko blushes and shakes her head.  Kuroo reaches into the box and pulls out a dark shirt with a bright number 1 on the chest.

 

“Official uniforms!”  Kuroo calls out before tossing shirts at everyone.  Hinata grabs his with a range of sounds coming from him that reminds Kei a little of an over excited puppy, yipping and yelping at the shirt held out in front of him.

 

“Wabam!  I am the coolest!”  Nishinoya calls out as he slides across the gym floor in his socks with his shoes dangling from his hand, somehow already changed into his uniform.  Kei catches the uniform tossed to him as Hinata breathes in a practically shoots sparkles out of his eyes at Nishinoya.

 

“So cool,” Hinata breathes out reverently as Nishinoya poses for him, orange uniform practically a beacon in the sea of black ones being held up and examined around him.  Kei’s eyes wander from his own number 8 over to Hinata’s 10 and the shorty suddenly pouts and points at Kageyama who is staring down at the uniform in his hands.  “Why is he nine and I’m ten?  Why’s Tsukishima got eight?  Not like he’s better than us.”  Kei meets Ryuu’s gaze and rolls his eyes.  Did Kuroo and Sawamura pick Hinata’s number on purpose?  Probably not but Kei can’t help the sigh that slips from his lips at the thought.  Hinata glares up at him, uniform carefully draped over his arm.  “What?”

 

“As much as you talk about him your fluff filled head can’t even remember the uniform number of your precious hero?  You sure he’s as impressive as you always pretend he is?”

 

Hinata’s eyes go wide and drop to the uniform over his arm.  “The Small Giant,” he says quietly, cheeks flushing as he runs his fingers over the numbers.

 

“If you’re going to make out with your uniform please leave the gym.”

 

“Shut up, Tsukishima,” Hinata snaps, face red when he looks up at him but eyes intensely bright.  It’s the same intensity he’s seen pop up on occasion on the court and Kei can’t quite look away from him.  “Being excited about something I like isn’t a crime you know.  Not all of us have to act too cool for volleyball because someone might think we actually like something for once.”

 

Kei can feel the kiss of a blush across his cheeks as he stares down at Hinata for a tense moment before turning to set his uniform on the bench.

For once he’s glad when practice starts back up again.


	10. Alien Kid vs. Dinosaur Boy

The Interhigh prelims come rushing up on them and Kei is happy when they finally arrive.  Hinata and Kageyama have been on some kind of super intense high or something ever since getting their uniforms.  Hinata keeps muttering about wearing his in a “real” game and, according to Yamaguchi, Kageyama has his hanging on the wall of his room and he takes it down and shakes it out every day when he gets home.  Ryuu has been wound up, urging Kei to join in on after practice practices and trying to get him to skip lunches to practice more.  Kei politely declines.  Or at least as politely as he can when it involves hanging up on Ryuu, shutting his door in his face, and flat out ignoring him on their walk home after practice.

He prefers to focus on his classes and homework between practices and things like actually sleeping on a Saturday night and not being outside at midnight still tossing a ball in the air.  You’d think that as the coach Kuroo would at least attempt to drag Hinata inside.  The tiny brat needed sleep to grow properly.  At least that’s what Kei grumbles to him the Monday before the Interhigh prelims start.

“Well then why do you need sleep?  Aren’t you tall enough already?”

“I need sleep to resist the urge to squash your head like the bug you are.”

 

Kiyoko shows up again and drags Yachi up to the balcony of the gym to reveal their latest project.  The black Karasuno banner unrolls and flutters in the silent gym and Kei feels his stomach drop.  The last time he saw that banner his brother had been standing behind the center of it, noisemaker in each hand and a stunned and ashamed look on his face.

The third years are all smiling brightly, eyes moist as the sunlight catches the repaired banner.  The white “Fly” printed in the center an eye catching contrast to the deep black fabric.  Ryuu and Nishinoya are cheering and crying, Hinata excitedly clapping his hands in between them while Kageyama and Yamaguchi look on with mild concern.  Kenma lightly bumps Kei’s elbow and raises his eyebrows.

“It’s nothing,” he mutters before turning and heading to the bench for a drink.

 

Hinata spends the entire trip to the site of the prelims growing steadily paler and leaning against Kenma’s side.  Kei is waiting for a repeat of the weekend training camp incident, only on Kenma instead of Ryuu’s lap.  Surprisingly Hinata doesn’t throw up but he does scurry off the bus the moment Azumane parks it, eyes wide and face pale.

“If he’s not back in twenty minutes or so someone should probably go find him,” Akaashi says as he grabs Hinata’s bag and slings it over his shoulder.

“Not it,” Kenma replies.

“Not even close to it,” Kei says as he heads off towards the entrance to the gym.  Ryuu follows him with a laugh and drops his arm around his shoulders.

“So you ready for your first official match, Sunshine?”

“Will you ever stop calling me that?”

“Hmmm… nope.”

He sang that stupid song to Ryuu one time to get him to stop freaking out about a thunderstorm.  One time.  They were like seven and he’s never going to hear the end of the ridiculous nickname.  This.  This is why he can’t be nice to people.  Give an inch and they take a mile.

 

The energy of the gym when they step into it is almost contagious.  Kei can feel it thrumming along his skin, trying to dig into his veins and settle into his bones, and he lets out a slow breath.  The last time he was in a gym with this much energy everything he knew had shifted.  His entire world had gone off-kilter and he wasn’t sure it ever really came back.  The black banner hangs on the balcony with a small handful of people behind it.  He recognizes all of them.  Karasuno’s volleyball team hasn’t exactly garnered much attention the last few years so the only people there are Azumane, Sugawara, Bokuto, Kiyoko, and some of Sugawara and Sawamura’s old teammates that had been helping out with a few individual practices.

Kageyama drags a still pale Hinata into the group.  He’s muttering something about Aobajousai and Hinata’s got his arms wrapped around his waist looking like he’s still going to throw up.  It’s strange to see Hinata so freaked out about anything.  He’s usually so hyper and gung-ho that Kei actually has to check to make sure he’s still standing with them a few minutes later.

“Hey now,” Kuroo says when he spots Hinata’s wide eyes and still body, “what’s up?”

“What if I screw up bad?”

“Oh come on, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“I’m kinda scared, Kuroo.  Everyone’s watching.”

“Ok.  Tell me.  What’s the scariest thing you can think of?”

Hinata thinks for a moment, hands slowly loosening their grip on his sides and dropping.

“A tie between when I served the ball into the back of Kageyama’s head and when I accidentally took Tsukishima’s strawberry dessert.”

Kuroo lets out a surprised laugh and pats Hinata on the head.  “Okay.  Now both of those are things that have actually happened.  So, really.  What is there to be afraid of?”  A slow grin crosses Hinata’s face and then he’s bounding past Kei to bounce excitedly next to Yachi and chatter about the game and how they’re totally going to win and become champions.

 

They win their first match in two sets.  The opponents are surprised.  The crowd is surprised.  Everyone still sees them as the Flightless Crows and it’s satisfying to see the way eyebrows raise when they take both sets with almost double their opponents score, the way the crowd leans in to whisper about them, the way everyone starts staring at the black banner with a little more respect.

But only a little.

“Just a fluke,” Kei overhears someone from another team say as he heads for the bathroom.  “They have some tricks but I’m sure it was just luck.”

“I dunno,” someone else replies and Kei pauses to catch the conversation.  “They have some pretty good names.  Nishinoya, that libero from Chidoriyama.  And Kageyama the setter from Kitagawa Daiichi.  Their ace, Tanaka, he’s not one to forget about either.  Those spikes looked scary strong.”

“Whatever.  Their next match is Date Tech.  We’ll see if their luck holds out against the Iron Wall.”

 

Their “luck” as it turns out does hold out against the Iron Wall of Datekougyou.  They take the match in two sets again.  Though they are much closer in score than the previous match.  Kei thinks dealing with the two giants in Nekoma helped.  Their defense is nowhere near as strong as Date Tech’s is but playing against them gave some hints on how to break through the wall.  Ryuu, as always, stormed straight through, barely a moment of doubt or hesitation as he rallied the team with Nishinoya at their backs each step of the way.

 

 

Aobajousai steps onto the court and Kageyama tenses, eyes scanning the team as both sides begin stretching.  He’s looking for someone but doesn’t seem to find them.  Kei shrugs and turns back to help Ryuu stretch.  One person on the team looks vaguely familiar.  Probably someone he had seen out and about between games or maybe in one of the volleyball magazines always laying around Ryuu’s house and the club room; Aobajousai is one of the top four or five teams in the prefecture after all.

They take the first set by two points.  Largely thanks to their freak duo’s freak quicks.  But Kei can’t help the feeling that something is off about the team.  They’re an amazing team, no doubt, but something about the team just doesn’t scream top five in the prefecture.  Even to Kei it feels like they’re missing something.

 

That something turns up just before the second set is about to begin.

A voice rings out through the gym and Kageyama freezes, wide eyes scanning the gym almost frantically.  Kei turns and spots the source of the commotion.  A brown haired teen is smiling and bowing apologetically.  Aobajousai crowds around him as the coach shakes his head and says something, pointing behind the benches with a frown, and the teen grins and gives his team a peace sign before jogging behind the benches.  He turns his head to grin at Kageyama and then stumbles to a halt when his eyes slide past him and meet Kei’s.

“Dinosaur Boy!?”  He shouts and points.  Then he spins around and points towards his team.  “Iwa-chan it’s him,” he hisses and points back to Kei.

He can feel everyone’s eyes on him he blushes a little, trying to figure out where he had heard that before.  Ryuu slides up next to him and bumps his shoulder and suddenly it all crashes back to the front of his mind.  He and Ryuu had been eight or nine and dead set on going to a summer science camp.  Four days of libraries and museums and camping out and learning all sorts of cool nerdy stuff.  It had been the highlight of his life practically until Akiteru started teaching him volleyball and the only thing that had gone wrong was the fact that he could not get along with one kid.  One kid who made camp so annoying that Kei had almost thrown a book at his face.  Multiple times.

One kid who would only be calmed down by his best friend when he got really into something.

One kid obsessed with aliens.

“Alien Kid.”  He scowls.  If Alien Kid was here then that meant that his best friend was… smacking him on the shoulder and telling him to go warm up and stop making a scene.

“‘Dinosaur Boy’?”  Nishinoya asks with a grin and Kei glares at him.

 

The second set seems to be going their way until about halfway through when Oikawa steps onto the court to serve.  He holds the ball in one hand, pointing at Kei with a sly grin.

“No matter how strong your offensive power if your attack doesn’t ‘connect’ there’s no meaning in it is there?”

The serve comes directly to Kei, glancing off his arm and shooting to the side for an easy point for Aobajousai.  Oikawa smiles through the net at him, eyes bright and confident as he spins the ball and serves again.

Kei can hear Nishinoya swearing under his breath behind him as the ball comes directly to Kei and flies off of his arm again.

“I wasn’t sure before but I definitely am now.”  Oikawa’s voice carries across the net easily as the ball is returned to him for another serve.  “But you and Shorty over there really suck at receives, don’t you?”

It all goes downhill from there.  Ennoshita and Akaashi try their best with receiving Oikawa’s serves but he has incredible accuracy and even when he’s not serving he is frightening to deal with.  He has Kageyama on edge, has him pulling ridiculous stunts and second guessing himself.  His sets and serves are both incredibly high level and Kei can see a difference between Oikawa and Kageyama.  Oikawa’s worked for his level and Kageyama has kind of stumbled onto his.  Oikawa is polished and confident in his ability to draw out every team member’s potential.  Kageyama is rough and still hasn’t figured out his tosses to everyone yet.

 

They lose the second set in a sweep of points after Oikawa steps in.

 

The third set though.  They come close.  So close.  They hang on, turn the tides a few times.  They chase and chase and _chase_ Aobajousai until the final score is flipped into place at 33 points to their 31.

But something breaks during that last set.  They’ve never been a fine tuned machine but by the end they’re a mess of parts.  Cogs and gears and bolts all out of place and scattered.

It’s tense after they walk off the court.  The bus ride back is quiet, everyone lost in their own thoughts, and Kei stares out the window.  He’s still not as invested in volleyball as the others and this is why.  All that hard work put in and for what?  For Oikawa and Aobajousai to swoop in and destroy them like they were nothing.  

They trudge off the bus and even Ryuu can’t seem to make himself cheer up any.  Kageyama and Hinata storm off somewhere the moment they get off the bus and Sugawara heads off to find them.

Kuroo herds them all towards the vehicles in the parking lot.  “Remember we promised you a meal win or lose so let’s go eat.”

 

Everyone picks at their food, eyes on the table and shoulders slumped, until Kuroo sighs.

“I’m proud of you.  We’re proud of you.  Each and every one of you.  Yes.  You lost.  But this is just the beginning.”

“Losing is always difficult.  But the important thing is to get back up.  To challenge yourself to stand back up again and keep fighting.”  Sugawara smiles and rubs Hinata’s head gently before reaching over and doing the same to Kageyama.  

“You’re a team,” Azumane says quietly from the other end of the table.  “Even if you might not always feel like it yet.  You’ll grow together.  Take care of each other.  Yes you need to get stronger individually but that also means you’ll get stronger as a team because of it.”

Sawamura clears his throat.  “You will all improve.  You’ll grow.  You’ll take these wins and these losses and use them to go forward.  But you need to keep up your strength to do that.  So eat.  Eat and keep growing.  Keep getting stronger.”


	11. King, Protector, Big Brother

Despite Ryuu’s occasional protests to the contrary Kei is not stupid.  He hasn’t been bothered by anyone since the incident in the bathroom, though he can’t help but feel like he’s being watched when he’s in the halls between classes.  Like they’re gauging his reaction, his team’s reaction.  He’s sure that if Ryuu and Nishinoya had their way they would be storming after each of the guys who had been in the bathroom with him.  But Kenma and Akaashi are good at taming the tempers of the other second years.

He knows what’s going on almost as soon as it starts to happen.  But he doesn’t mention it.  Partially because mentioning it would inevitably wind up with there being discussions and talks about what is happening and that’s just a lot of touchy feely shit he really doesn’t feel like dealing with.  Especially since there’s that tiny part of him that doesn’t mind.  The tiny part of him that kind of likes the special treatment.

He doesn’t mind Kenma at all.  The second year just walks up next to him occasionally between classes or on the way to practice, eyes on his phone but never super focused on it.  His eyes dart this way and that, taking in their surroundings and the people, before settling back on the screen.  Filing away who is or isn’t watching them, probably compiling plans and data to spill to Akaashi or Ennoshita later.  Kenma is quiet though, he’ll slip up next to Kei and then a few minutes later simply slip away without a word.

Nishinoya starts to grow on him in a way.  Kind of like a fungus or something.  He’s loud and brash and always winding Hinata up when he’s around.  But that noise draws attention from Kei and even if he’s gotten used to the stares it’s still nice on occasion to not have to deal with them being directed at him.  Nishinoya will bound up to him and smack his back or tug on the earbuds he has hanging around his neck, shirt sleeves pushed up brandishing the bruises on his arms from practice like they’re medals.  Proof of just how tough he is as he flashes grins and meets the eyes of anyone daring to give Kei even the slightest of unkind glances.

Akaashi is quiet and subtle like Kenma.  But much sharper.  He nods politely when he joins Kei for a quick walk through the halls, usually mentioning some tidbit of information or another - plans for practice, asking if Kei has a test in English like Hinata does, reminders to turn in a form for their next practice match - not disguising his purpose just simply being efficient about it by essentially killing two birds with one stone.  He meets the gazes of those who watch them, polite voice calling out names, showing that he  knows who is there.  That he remembers them, knows their faces, can easily pick them out from the crowd.

Yachi is always hurrying by, a bright splash of sun through the hallway as he passes Kei, or his classroom.  There’s almost always a teacher with her that she’s talking to or assisting or walking with.  Her quick wave and bright “Hello Tsukishima!” calling attention to the faculty presence around her.

He’s pretty sure Hinata and Kageyama don’t really know why they’re doing what they’re doing.  Kei refuses to believe that they actually  enjoy  having lunch with him.  He doesn’t join in their conversations, keeps his headphones in half the time, and when he does talk to them it’s often to remind them of how dumb they’re being for forgetting a test or homework or simple mathematical formula.  Yet they come back day after day and drag desks together so they can sit with him and Yamaguchi.

“Akaashi told me you left your History stuff on your table.  Again.”  Hinata gasps and nearly tips over the chair he’s sitting in, only stopping himself by gripping onto Kageyama’s sleeve and nearly taking him with.  

“Oh no,” he whines.  “I am so dead.”

“Maybe your grades wouldn’t suck so much if you weren’t such a scatterbrain.”  Kei tosses Hinata’s notebook at him with a smirk.  “You’re lucky I was feeling generous and agreed to deliver it to you.”

Yamaguchi slides his dessert across the desk with a snicker at the look of shock on Hinata’s face as he scrambles to catch his notebook and not tip himself over.  As always Kageyama looks betrayed by the move of the dessert being passed over to Kei and he makes sure to look as smug as possible when he takes a bite.

“What’s the matter,  _ King _ ?”  Kageyama’s eyes narrow.  

Yamaguchi inhales sharply and leans forward, ready to intervene in some way.  “Tobio,” he starts.

“If you don’t want your desserts, Tadashi, why do you always take them to school and give them to him?  If you just leave them at home then Yuu or I could have them.”

Yamaguchi blinks in surprise at Kageyama ignoring the nickname.  At the easy way he dismisses Kei’s words and pouts across the desk at him.  

“If I did that you two would end up eating ninety percent of every dessert we have yourselves.  Besides I don’t always give them to Tsukki,” he answers carefully as Kei takes another bite and meets Kageyama’s eyes with a smirk.

The bell rings and Hinata hops up to help Yamaguchi push the desks back into place.

“If Suga ever makes strawberry shortcake I’m going to eat the whole thing myself,” Kageyama states quietly as he collects his and Hinata’s lunch boxes.  “And then make sure to tell you how delicious it was the next day.”

Kei looks up in shock.  One, he never told anyone on the team his favorite dessert.  Two, that was especially vicious coming from Kageyama.

“Oi, hurry up!”  Kageyama spins and calls out to Hinata as he leaves the classroom.  “Or I’m leaving your lunch box on the stairs again.”

 

His shoe locker is still getting jammed shut on occasion though none of his stuff is going missing anymore.  He finds a note shoved inside his shoes about a month after the fight he was dragged into.  The surprisingly neat handwriting actually makes the note feel a little menacing.  Gives it a touch of professionalism or something.  Though the wording makes him laugh.

_ Your guard dogs won’t be able to protect you forever. _

The phrase “guard dogs” just makes him remember the long weekend training camp and Kenma beside him muttering “Woof woof” every time they saw Nekoma’s vice-captain that weekend.  He laughs at the memory as Ryuu smacks him on the shoulder and plucks the paper from his fingers.

“What’s this?”  He’s leaning against Kei’s shoulder and Kei can feel his entire body stiffen when he reads the words.  “They’re still fucking with you?  I have half a mind to-”

“Ignore what we were told by Sugawara and get yourself into trouble?”  Akaashi asks as he steps up to them, easily taking the paper from Ryuu and reading it himself.

“I don’t care if I get in trouble.  These assholes are still going after my best friend, Akaashi.  I have to-”

“Listen to Sugawara and not get in trouble.”  Akaashi stares at Ryuu, voice patient like they’ve talked about this a hundred times already which, given the way the second years have been hovering around Kei they probably have.  “You do realize that if you get caught fighting you could be given detention.”

“I don’t care about-”

“Expelled.”

“Akaashi I-”

“Kicked off the volleyball team.”

He can feel Ryuu practically vibrating with frustration before he growls and pushes himself away from Kei and Akaashi and stomps out of the building.  He knows Ryuu is still feeling the loss against Aobajousai.  He feels like he failed the team and now there's nothing he can do for his best friend.  


“This stuff was so much simpler when we were like eight,” Kei mutters as he slips into his shoes and adjusts his bag.

“To be honest,” Akaashi says as they head out of the building themselves, “there are days I’m pretty sure Tanaka still thinks you’re eight.  Despite the fact you’re only a year younger than him.”

Ryuu puts every ounce of frustration into his spikes during practice.  Each slap of the ball against his palm echoes through the gym and Kei winces when the ball connects with someone’s arm.  Even Nishinoya is having trouble receiving some of Ryuu’s spikes.  Ryuu’s pushing them all, eyes sharp and mouth sharper as he urges them forward, urges them to keep moving, keep growing.  The booming call of the ace of the team rallying them all.  The look in his eye when he meets Kei’s gaze is wild and almost a little alarming.

Somehow it makes him think of broken figurines and ripped posters and his brother’s fists clenching a black jacket with white lettering.

 

Hinata whoops in celebration as he and Kageyama launch another nearly perfect quick.  Hinata shouts for another one even as Kei walks over to the wall to collect the ball that had blown past him.

“You know you could have blocked that one,” Kuroo says almost like an afterthought as Kei walks past where he’s observing practice.  “You’ll have to be careful or Hinata will take all the good parts from you.  You two do play the same position after all.”

“Yamaguchi and Narita play the same position too,” Kei says with what he’s sure comes out as an almost bitter laugh.  Visions of his brother curled up with his forehead to the floor surrounded by pieces of his past fill his head and he shrugs.  “Besides Hinata’s abilities and mine are completely different.”

He can feel Kuroo’s gaze on him as he returns to the net and tosses the ball to Yamaguchi to serve.  Yamaguchi’s serve is still a little weak but has improved in the last few weeks, especially once he decided he wanted to try and focus on a jump float serve.  He wonders how much Yamaguchi’s been practicing outside of their regular practice.  If he’s been practicing with one of Sugawara and Sawamura’s old teammates like he had talked about.

Hinata’s eyes light up as he jumps, Kei right in front of him to block, and as the ball ricochets off his hand he wonders for the briefest of moments what it was like to still feel that jolt of amazement he saw in Hinata’s eyes, that moment of absolute wonder and accomplishment when your hand connected to the ball.  It was something he’s not sure he even felt as a child.  He hears Nishinoya’s body hit the floor behind him somewhere as he dives to save the ball.

“I’ll save the next one,” Nishinoya calls out as he rolls to his feet, already in a defensive stance for the next ball.  “Count on me.”

Kei wipes a drop of sweat from his brow.  Yamaguchi is already preparing to serve, face a picture of determination as he spins the ball in his hands.  He can hear Kinoshita behind him shifting, ready to help Nishinoya receive.  Even Kenma is standing at attention, or his form of it, arms loose and eyes bright as he tracks the ball.

What was the point of any of it?

Bruises and scraped knees and bloody noses.  Sprained wrists and taped fingers.

All for what?

Scattered trophies and torn posters.  Fingers clenched and tears staining a black jacket even darker.

“Pathetic,” he mutters.

 

But he’s not sure if he’s talking about the others or himself.


	12. Everything Is Ryuu’s Fault.  A comprehensive guide to picking best friends - by Tsukishima Kei

_ “Volleyball’s all about ‘connecting’ so make sure to get along with the other kids, okay?” _  Akiteru’s words follow him out of his dreams and Kei stares blearily at the world around him, not quite sure what woke him up.  Not that he minds.  Dreams of Akiteru teaching him and Ryuu to play volleyball inevitably lead to dreams about standing in the stands and seeing his brother’s shocked and embarrassed face looking at him from across the gym, front and center in the cheering section for Karasuno.

Sure his brother had been his hero and Akiteru hadn’t wanted to let his little brothers - because he claimed that Ryuu might as well be his little brother too since he and Kei were nearly inseparable most days - down.  Didn’t want to disappoint them.  Looking back on it Kei can see where he was coming from.  But lying to him?  Constantly telling him that he was staying late to practice?  Was he honestly practicing every night and it still didn’t make a difference?  Or was he ever actually practicing?

How much of Kei’s hero had been just a figment of his imagination?

He rolls over and stares at the fuzzy outline of his volleyball uniform hanging neatly on his wall.  Had Akiteru ever even gotten one of his own?  Had he ever even had a number, felt the weight of the black material against his skin and the heavy responsibility of a white number on his chest?

A sharp rap on his window makes him roll over and glare at it.  That explains what woke him up.

“C’mon, Sunshine, open up.”  Ryuu’s muffled voice makes him growl and bury his head under his pillow because hell no.  “I know you’re awake by now.  Don’t make me break the lock on your window.”  He waits a moment before tapping lightly against the glass.  “Again,” he threatens cheerfully.

Kei only unlocks the window because the last time Ryuu had broken the lock it had taken them half their allowances combined and a week of being Saeko’s servants before they fixed it without his parents finding out.

“Go ‘way Ryuu,” Kei slurs and buries himself under his pillows and blankets.

“Nah.  Don’t be that way Kei.”  Ryuu pulls himself into Kei’s room with a grunt and flops onto his bed, pinning Kei’s legs under him.  Which was fine.  Since Kei didn’t plan on moving anyway.

“It’s Saturday.  We don’t have practice.  Go away.”

“Exactly.  It’s Saturday.  And we’ve had like no time to hang out as best friends since school started.”  Ryuu rolls up until he’s draped across Kei’s lower back.  “We need some serious best friend time like now.”

Best friend time.  Kei snorts.  “The last time you said something like that we wound up in a fountain being attacked by angry geese.”  He could write an entire book about the stuff they get into when they have “best friend time.”  It would be a bestseller: Everything Is Ryuu’s Fault.  A comprehensive guide to picking best friends by Tsukishima Kei.

“Slight miscalculation on my part.”

“I got sick.   _ You  _ got sick.  Someone called the police.”  He doesn’t even have to see Ryuu to know he was rolling his eyes and waving at the air.

“Technicalities.  Come on.  What can be worse than geese, Kei?  Nothing.  They’re absolute demons.  We’ll have fun.”

“I want to sleep in.”

“It’s like nine and you’re already awake.  Just accept your fate.  Come with me.”  Kei grumbles and pulls his head out from under his pillow to glare at Ryuu over his shoulder.  “Just get up.  Don’t make me dress you.  Because I will find that god awful plaid ‘I wuv dinosaurs’ hoodie I bought you last year for your birthday and I will make you wear it out in public.”

“Fine.”  Kei wriggles and slides out from under Ryuu.  “But you’re buying me breakfast.”

No way was he letting Ryuu dress him again.  That day is one he likes to jam away in his memories and pretend never happened.  Also no way in hell was he letting Ryuu find out he actually wore that monstrosity of a shirt around the house.  It was comfortable and warm, okay?

 

Ryuu does buy him breakfast.  And lunch.  And they almost get kicked out of the movie theater because Kei can’t stop making sarcastic comments about the movie they’re watching and making Ryuu choke on his popcorn.  Then they almost get kicked out of the mall because Ryuu started a pillow fight with Kei in a home decor store that Kei may or may not have participated in.  (He totally did and he totally would have won if that security guard hadn’t come around the corner right then and sent him and Ryuu running for the door, pillows abandoned in the middle of an aisle.)

By the time the sun is setting they’re collapsed under the tree in Ryuu’s backyard with a bag of sweets from the general store down the street open between them.

“No angry geese this time,” Kei states and Ryuu laughs.

“Not a one.  Though there were a couple of angry old ladies who were screeching like geese.”

The memory of the ladies in the home decor store screeching at them makes Kei laugh.

“Uh, yeah.  Let’s not tell my parents about that.”

“Saeko would kill me.”

“Our coach would kill us.”  

It’s the first time the entire day either of them had mentioned anything to do with volleyball.  It had been nice, not talking about the team or volleyball or school or anything of any importance.  Nice to just screw around and joke and be stupid teenagers for a bit.  But sprawling here in Ryuu’s backyard with the sight of Sugawara and Sawamura’s house right there Kei can’t help but mention them.  It’s a little like picking at a scab.

“Kuroo?  Nah.  He’d laugh.”  Ryuu rolls onto his side and eyes his neighbor’s house.  “Suga.  Suga would kill us,” he mutters thoughtfully as one of the lights turn on.  “Hey, Kei?”

Kei hums in response and reaches for a piece of candy, unwrapping the cellophane and balling it up to toss at Ryuu’s head.

“I know you say you don’t like volleyball.  But it’s not so bad, right?  The team’s kind of fun?”

Had it been anyone but Ryuu he would have scoffed.  Probably said something about the team being a giant band of volleyball idiots.  Said that he was wasting his time with them.

But it was Ryuu and Ryuu was looking not quite at Kei but just past his shoulder, like he was afraid of what he’d see if he met his eyes, and his voice held the tiniest sliver of insecurity, like he was worried Kei hated volleyball, hated him.  The last time Kei remembers hearing Ryuu’s voice like this was when they were ten and sitting in his room and Kei was boxing up his volleyball things and Ryuu was telling him that it was okay.  That even if Akiteru hadn’t been telling the truth didn’t mean that he didn’t love Kei.  That they would make it through this.  That he was still Kei’s best friend.

“The team isn’t completely horrible,” Kei admits with a sigh.  “I just don’t get why everyone puts in so much effort.  It’s just a club.”  Ryuu shifts beside him and Kei flops onto his back to look up through the branches.  “But it’d be too much effort to quit now and find something else to join so you’re stuck with me.”

Ryuu laughs.  “Kei.  You’re my best friend.  We faced down angry geese together.  We’re basically stuck with each other for life now.”

The silence between them is comfortable, it almost always is when Ryuu allows silence, and as the first stars come into view Kei tilts his head to the side and asks, “What do you think Kageyama would do if an angry goose chased him?”

 

Kei still has the image of Kageyama being chased by angry geese in his head Monday afternoon when practice starts and when he meets Ryuu’s eyes they both stifle a laugh.

 

 

“As you know the summer training camp is coming up soon,” Ennoshita says after he calls the team together, “and it has been brought to my attention that a few of you had less than stellar grades on your last exams.  I’m sure you all know that to be part of a sports club you’re required to keep your grades up to a certain level.”  He nods to Akaashi and then slips into the group.

“Which means,” Akaashi continues, “that there  _ will _ be study sessions for those of you who are lacking in classes.  It will be mandatory.”  Kei snickers as Ennoshita nabs Ryuu and Nishinoya before they can take off running across the gym.  Akaashi catches Kei’s eyes and smiles.  “And for those of us with higher grades we will be expected to help our fellow teammates out.”

“We are a team.  This is a group effort so we can all participate in the camp.  Everyone will pass their exams before summer break.”  Ennoshita finishes with a grin.  “And anyone with any concerns are free to come to either Akaashi or myself to discuss them.”

 

“I’m doomed.  Totally doomed.”  Hinata drapes himself against Kenma after school.  The older teen continues walking, clearly used to the action.  “Kenma,” Hinata whines.  “Help me.”

“Shouyou if you would just study properly you’d probably be fine,” Kenma replies, eyes focused on his phone.

“If you would stop simply leaving your stuff on the table and actually study it you’d be even better,” Akaashi says.  “You know we’ll help you study.”  He says after Hinata turns his puppy eyes on him.

Kei snorts.  “I’m not sure that will help much even if it’s you Akaashi.”

“Well sorry for not being a giant nerd like you, Tsukishima.”  Hinata tries to shove Kei across the sidewalk.  He only succeeds in smacking his face into Kei’s side when his hands slip.

“I’d rather be a giant nerd than a short idiot.”

“Help a fellow second year out, Akaashi?”  Ryuu butts in and hooks an arm around Akaashi’s shoulders.  “For the good of the team?”

“But if I help you and Nishinoya who will help the first years?”

“No,” Kei says before anyone can even look at him.  “Not doing it.”

“Aw c’mon Tsukki it might be kind of fun,” Yamaguchi pipes up.

“Fun?  Trying to teach these two volleyball idiots something that isn’t volleyball?  You have a weird definition of fun.”

Hinata and Kageyama are dancing around Kenma and Akaashi, who still has Ryuu’s arm around his shoulders, Hinata begging for help and Kageyama doing a weird silent pleading thing that is a lot of wide eyes and almost smiles and frankly it’s making Kei uncomfortable.  So he drops back a few steps when Nishinoya suddenly rushes up and leaps onto Ryuu’s back with a shout.

“I bet if you come over to study Suga will bake something special just for you.”  Yamaguchi grins.  “To thank you for helping Tobio.”

Kei refuses to be swayed by sweets.  Absolutely refuses.

“He may even bake an extra dessert just for you to take back home.”

Kei is very much a fifteen year old boy, perfectly capable of being swayed by offers of his favorite desserts for free.

 

Which is how he finds himself seated at the table at Yamaguchi’s house the next night, textbooks and notebooks spread out across the entire surface, with his head in his hands.

“How.”  He mutters mostly to himself as Hinata and Kageyama bicker over the answer to a math problem.  Neither of them are right but Kei has yet to tell them that.  “How are they so smart at volleyball and so stupid at everything else?”  Yamaguchi glances up from his own textbook and shakes his head sympathetically.  Kei wishes the others were as smart as Yamaguchi.  Or at least as willing to actually study.

“Now now, they’re not stupid.”  Sugawara’s voice comes from behind Kei and he stiffens a little.  “They just have a tough time focusing on certain things.”

“Like not being idiots,” Kei mutters before he can stop himself.  Sugawara’s amused huff loosens some of the tension in his shoulders and he glances over his shoulder sheepishly.

“They are a couple of volleyball idiots.  But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”  The front door opens and Sugawara’s face lights up.  “Ah Asahi!  We’re in here.”  He steps over to the doorway and pulls a blushing Azumane down for a quick kiss.  “Welcome home.”

“Welcome home, Asahi,” Yamaguchi says distractedly before scrunching his nose and going back to his History homework.

Kageyama and Hinata pause in their argument, which has dissolved into Hinata shoving at Kageyama’s face and Kageyama pressing down on Hinata’s fluffy head, to welcome him back as well.  Kei nods politely when Azumane glances at him.

“Ah, thank you all.”  Azumane scratches at his cheek and smiles.  “Homework I take it?”

“Yep.  Apparently some of the team isn’t doing so hot on their exams lately.”  Sugawara gives Kageyama a pointed look and he lets go of Hinata’s head with wide eyes.  “Daichi is over at Kuroo’s place with the second years.  The third years are apparently doing fairly well by themselves but said they’d be happy to drop by either group to help out.”

“Good let them take those two.”  Everyone turns to look at him and Kei flushes a little.  “What?  Let them try to teach those two.  I am not, and will never be, teacher material.  And they need all the help they can get.”

Azumane chuckles and settles into a chair next to Yamaguchi as Sugawara heads into the kitchen.  Kei watches as he takes Hinata and Kageyama’s notebooks, glances over the writing, and blinks at the answers.

“How did you two even  _ get  _ these answers?”  He asks disbelievingly.

“See what I mean?”

An hour later Kei’s eyes widen in surprise as his book is plucked out of his hands and a plate is slid in front of him.  A mouthwatering slice of strawberry shortcake is sitting in front of him and Sugawara laughs as he hands Kei a fork.

“For some reason I had to practically forbid Tobio from helping in the kitchen while I made this one.”

Kei meets Kageyama’s eyes.  “I just wanted to help,” Kageyama says innocently as Sugawara slides a plate in front of Hinata.  This one has some kind of chocolate cake with strawberries on it and Hinata’s eyes widen.

“This looks so yummy!  Thanks Suga!”

“Thank you Sugawara,” Kei says politely when he comes back with two more plates - another chocolate cake with strawberries for Azumane, who smiles happily at Sugawara and presses a quick kiss to his palm, and a piece of strawberry shortcake for Yamaguchi.  Kageyama hops up and comes back from the kitchen with two more plates, setting a pudding of some kind down in front of his chair and the chair next to Azumane which Sugawara slides into after making sure everyone has silverware and a drink.

“Dig in everyone.”

 

After they finish their snack Kei helps Yamaguchi wash the dishes while Azumane and Sugawara try to help Hinata and Kageyama with their studying.  Try being the key word.  Kei isn’t sure how much of anything those two are even understanding.

“That was really good.  Is this why Kageyama and Nishinoya have so much energy?  They have to burn off the calories from eating those all the time?”

Yamaguchi laughs and grabs the stack of dry plates to put away.  “I think it’s more they need to eat so much because they’re so energetic.  Which, I suppose, is practically the same thing.”

“Too bad their brains can’t work as fast with school work as they can with volleyball.”

“Yeah,” Yamaguchi sighs a little as he collects the silverware and puts it away.  “Sometimes it’s tricky living with two volleyball geniuses.”

There’s a longing in Yamaguchi’s voice, something bone deep and quiet and so painful in the way it reminds Kei of his brother, of late night practices and torn posters.

Hinata and Kageyama are arguing in the dining room, Sugawara and Azumane laughing and trying to calm them down as they explain where they went wrong with their work.  Kei’s eyes drift over to the line of sneakers by the back door, the worn volleyball in the corner, the array of notes on the corkboard by the fridge about meet ups and calling old friends about helping with individual practice for members.   

So much effort.  And for what?

He glances at Yamaguchi and shakes his head.  He just… doesn’t get it.


	13. Just A Club

The scenery flies by in a blur of greens and blues, dotted with the occasional swatch of pink and purple of flowers, as the van rockets down the road.  They’re going far too fast for the road they’re on, the amount of other people on said road, and the fact that there are four young teens in the van along with the driver.

“Hey precious cargo here,” Ryuu snaps as his head bounces against the window it had been leaning on.  “Do you not want to deliver your brother safely to his summer camp?”

Saeko laughs and the sound makes Kei shudder.  Akiteru may have been the oldest of the four of the siblings but Saeko, and that laugh, had been the leader.  That laugh was usually the sign that Kei and Ryuu were going to have a lot of fun, and Akiteru was going to regret it.  With no Akiteru in the van Ryuu’s and Kei’s eyes meet and they both wonder just which of them may regret this.  

Kei has a bad feeling it’s going to be him because Hinata is giggling even though his face is turning steadily paler as his shoulder presses into Kei’s arm through a sharp turn.  He better not throw up on Kei.  Kei will beat the crap out of him if he throws up on him.

“Why couldn’t I have just taken the bus with the rest of them?”

“At least you got to sleep in and not deal with stupid tests.”  Kageyama is grumbling in the seat behind them and Kei rolls his eyes as he pushes Hinata away from him.

“If you would have passed your first round of tests and not had make up exams you wouldn’t have had to take more.  And I wouldn’t be risking my life being passenger in this van driven by a mad woman,” he adds under his breath.

“You wanna get out and walk, little dino?”  Kei freezes at Saeko’s voice, and ridiculous nickname from his childhood, as Kageyama lets out a huff of laughter.

“Little dino?”  Kageyama asks.

“Shut up,  King ,” Kei snaps back.  Hinata leans into him through another curve and he shoves him away again.  “I swear Hinata if you throw up on me I’ll kill you.”

“There will be no throwing up in my van.”

As usual Saeko’s word is law.

Hinata doesn’t throw up on Kei, though he is looking incredibly pale by the time they fall out of Saeko’s van.  Hinata falls onto his knees, Kei trips over him and nearly stumbles to the ground, Ryuu flings himself out of the passenger seat and Kageyama stumbles out behind Kei with his arms filled with their bags.

“Ungrateful heathens,” Saeko huffs and looks to the sky when Ryuu cheers upon spotting Sawamura and Bokuto on the other side of the parking area near the gym.  “Here I spent hours of my free time on a Saturday in a van with four teenage boys.  Dragging them to their volleyball camp.  And this is how they thank me.”

Kei pauses on his way towards the gym when he hears bags hitting the ground, grunting when Ryuu bumps into him.  Kageyama is bowing deeply, their bags at his feet.  Kei isn’t sure what to expect when he sees Saeko’s eyes widen in surprise.  Hinata glances up from where he’s still sprawled on the ground before suddenly hopping to his feet and joining Kageyama in a bow.

“Thank you for bringing us.”  They say in unison.

Kei has to shake his head and blink hard a few times because he thinks he sees… No he  _ does _ see it.  Saeko is blushing.  The unflappable Tanaka Saeko, queen of his childhood memories, is blushing over the words and actions of a couple of dorky fifteen year old boys.  She laughs just like Ryuu does when he’s bone deep happy: head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut as their body shakes with laughter.  She wipes away a tear as the two teens in front of her straighten slowly, faces red, and glance at each other.

“Oh you guys are too much.  Go.  Go play volleyball.”  She waves towards where Ryuu and Kei are standing.  “Join your team.”  Saeko’s eyes meet Kei’s.  “Get along with each other and just have fun.  That’s all any sibling wants to see from their baby bro and his team.  No other thanks necessary.”

 

Unfortunately his being allowed to sleep in - which he still isn’t sure how Ryuu managed to convince anyone to allow that - meant that he and Ryuu were being included in Hinata and Kageyama’s punishment round of flying falls for being late as soon as they finished putting away their things for the week and stretched.  Which Kei thinks is totally unfair.  Considering he never even asked to sleep in and be forced to endure Saeko’s race car driver act with the threat of Hinata puking in his lap looming over him every mile and curve of the way.

Kei leans against the wall next to Kenma and sighs.  “I’m already exhausted.”

“You just got here.”

“And I’m already exhausted.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Me?  Dramatic?  I would never.”

“And you’d never be sarcastic either I suppose.”

“Never.”

“Ah,” Kei looks up into the face of Nekoma’s vice-captain, “it’s the first year blocker and his guard dog.”

“Woof,” Kenma mutters, eyes on his feet, before shuffling away to sit on the bench between Akaashi and Kuroo.

“Did I do something to offend him?”

Kei glances between the vice-captain - one of these days he might bother to learn names but probably not - and Kenma.  He shrugs.

“Maybe.  He doesn’t talk much to people he doesn’t know.”

“Well if he doesn’t talk to me how am I supposed to get to know him?”

Kei feels a surge of something, protectiveness maybe, and looks back to the vice-captain.  “Why do you want to?”

“Team bonding?  Old rivals becoming friends?  I’m friendly?  Maybe I’d like to be friends with all of you.”

Kei makes a noncommittal noise and leaves the vice-captain leaning against the wall.  He barely tolerated his own team.  He wasn’t about to start trying to make friends with other teams.

 

 

It’s not like he hates the camp.  Not exactly.  

Okay he kind of does.  There’s a lot of sweating and people and noise and high levels of energy.  A lot of team spirit and bonding.  A lot of effort and seeking approval from coaches and upperclassmen and other teams.

It’s not like he hates volleyball.  


Mostly he just doesn’t understand why they all care so much.  Especially when they’re constantly getting beaten.  Oikawa’s sly grin floats through his mind and he shakes his head.  He’s starting to feel like winning is something they’ll never get used to.

He spins the ball in his hands and watches the colors swirl.  It’s his serve, they’re down by three points, and in all honesty he could care less.  It’s day three of seven and he just wants to go back to the room he’s being forced to share with the rest of his team and sleep.  Ryuu and Nishinoya’s “epic storytelling session” had kept Hinata and Narita up until what had to be at least two in the morning with claims that they “just weren’t tired yet” and Kei thought he was going to have to go find a different team to sleep with for the night.  

Despite falling asleep between Ryuu and Ennoshita he woke up with Hinata and Kenma curled up between him and Ryuu, Hinata’s back pressed against Kei’s and Kenma’s arm across Hinata and fingers tangled in Kei’s shirt.  Narita had wound up on his back with one arm flung across Ennoshita and the other tucked underneath Kinoshita.  The others were still scattered around the room, though Kageyama and Yamaguchi were next to each other when Kei was pretty sure they had been near opposite corners when he fell asleep.

Anyway he was tired, hot, sore, and ready to sleep in his own bed.

Why couldn’t Yamaguchi be the one serving?  He was the one practicing a specialty serve after all.  Or Kageyama.  He was a pretty solid server.  Kei tosses the ball in the air and serves.  It doesn’t take long for Nekoma to wipe the floor with them after that and soon he’s on his penalty run with the team.  Their third of the day.

By the time they drag themselves back to the gym and do some cool down stretches the rest of the teams have cleaned up and have supper waiting in the dining hall.  Yachi hovers over them, bringing plates and glasses as they stumble to the tables.  She chides Hinata and Ryuu for eating too fast.  Insists on bringing Kinoshita a second plate when he finishes his first.  Practically throws napkins at their faces when she realizes they don’t have any yet.

“Aren’t you going to eat?”  Yachi settles in next to Kei, finally with her own plate, and looks up at him.  “You need to replenish your energy.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Kei says as he picks at what’s left of his food.

“I’m the team manager.  It’s kind of my job.”  Yachi hums and then fidgets with her plate, voice soft almost as if she’s talking to herself.  “And even if it wasn’t my job I’d still worry.  You’re my team.  My friends.  And I care about you all.”

“Don’t bother.”  He takes his plate to the kitchen area and washes it quickly before anyone can come after him and heads back to their room.  He just wants to sleep.

 

The end of day four somehow finds him doing blocking practice with Ryuu, one of the wing spikers from Fukurodani, the annoyingly large cat and husky duo from Nekoma, and the loud Nekoma wing spiker who gets along with Ryuu way too well for Kei’s wellbeing.  Or at least his ears.  Those two are louder than a freaking marching band when they get going.  Kei had thought Ryuu and Hinata were bad.  But they were practically museum level hushed compared to this.

Kei still isn’t entirely sure the exact details of how he got roped into this.  He’s sure it had something to do with Ryuu’s bright eyes and the way he had smirked when he hooked an arm around Kei’s neck.  And the fact that the tall skinny cat ran his mouth a lot and said something about Kei being a bad middle blocker.  Which may or may not be true.  But hell if Kei was going to let someone who barely seemed to know what a volleyball was tell him shit like that.

“I’ll show you what a real ace of the team looks like!”  Ryuu’s voice echoes through the gym as he spikes another ball through the Nekoma blockers and Kei.  A chuckle from the doorway draws Kei’s attention as the Fukurodani spiker jogs over to grab another ball.  Kuroo is observing their practice session.  He gives Kei a grin and nods back to the net.  A few more spikes later he steps into the gym and strolls over to offer them advice.  Kei doesn’t really listen, despite Kuroo’s experience in blocking and his title as one of the best blockers in the region in high school, he’s sure he’s heard most of it before during regular practice.  The spikers are a few feet away, brightening visibly when Bokuto - former Fukurodani ace wing spiker himself - rushes in not far behind Kuroo and starts chattering away at them.

Kei wonders for a moment as he watches them all interacting if being incredibly loud, overly excited, and more energetic than a three year old on a sugar high is a requirement for being a wing spiker.

He rolls his eyes when a few minutes later the rest of the Nekoma team starts filing in, eager to practice more, and he heads for the door.  Ryuu follows him, chattering excitedly about practicing and the fact that Bokuto had promised him some one-on-one practice time when they got back from camp.  He remembers halfway back to their rooms that he forgot his kneepads in the main gym and he trudges back with a frown.  All he wants is this stupid camp to be over.

The rest of his team is practicing still.  Even the people who aren’t on the team are there.

Yachi tossing ball after ball for them, sweat shining on her face.  Sawamura’s eyes picking out flaws in their forms and calling them out.  Sugawara hurrying after loose balls.  Azumane is even there, hitting powerful spikes for receiving practice.

“Awesome!”  Ryuu hurries to join the fray as Kei slips along the wall to grab his kneepads.

“It’s just a club,” he murmurs as he watches.

He’s tired of being around all these people who put in so much effort.  So much effort for nothing.

His brother curled up in a darkened room with piles of his past shredded around him flashes through his mind as he turns away to head back for a quick shower.

“You’ll only suffer later.”


	14. Fallen Heroes

Kei is busy staring down at his breakfast with bleary eyes the next morning when Nishinoya drops down across from him.

“Is  _ that _ all you’re eating?”

Kei blinks at the teen across from him and frowns.  It’s typical Nishinoya bluster and his loud way of caring.  He can’t just say something like Kei needs to eat more.  No he has to announce it to the room, draw attention to how “awesome” he’s being, how kind and amazing he is.

Kei glances from his food to the extra large portions in front of Nishinoya and smirks.

“That’s an awfully  _ big _ serving for you.  Isn’t it?”

He hears Yamaguchi snicker behind him as Nishinoya’s eyes widen and he leaps around the table to tangle his fingers in Kei’s hair and try and shove his head towards the table with a cackle.

“You really need to work on respecting your elders!”

“I’m still not sure I see any elders here with me.”  Kei laughs as Nishinoya practically climbs onto the bench next to him, hand still shoving at his head.

 

Unfortunately they’re all too winded to laugh after their second loss of the day and the subsequent punishment run.  Narita tosses him a bottle of water before collapsing next to Kei.  They’re shaded by a tree as the rest of their team flops down into whatever shade they can find, sluggishly fanning themselves and each other with towels and in Ryuu’s case his sweaty t-shirt which was of course pulled off at some point.  Kei sometimes wonders about his best friend’s obsession with ripping off his shirt during practices and games.  Was it a show of dominance?  A way to get all the attention on him and off his teammates to help them relax?  Just a weird thing that Ryuu did because he was, well, weird?

“Tsukishima?”  Narita is looking at him with concern.  “Are you okay?  You seriously spaced out for a moment.  You’re not getting sick are you?”

“Ah, no.  Just thinking.”  They watch the rest of the team slowly start coming back to life.  Hinata is the first to recover, which is no surprise, and he’s almost instantly hovering between Kenma and Kageyama and attempting to get one of them to get up and set for him.  Yamaguchi is sitting up and talking to Sugawara, hands moving in a way that Kei thinks means he’s talking about his jump float serve.  Kei glances towards Narita and then back to the team.  “Does it ever bother you?”

“Bother me?”

“Your position being taken over by a bunch of first years.”

Narita lets out a surprised chuckle.  He runs his hand down his face with a sigh.

“I’m not the best player,” he says with a small smile.  “I’ve never been a regular.  But that doesn’t bother me too much.  I nearly quit my first year, you know.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.  I wasn’t that good, practice was tough for me, and it was a whole new level compared to middle school.  But Chikara convinced me to stay.  Said that even if I wasn’t great I could still improve and if we could get through practices we’d have fun.”  Narita shrugs and leans towards Kei.  “He was right.  He’s right a lot.”

“Why do you keep playing?”

“Because it’s fun.”

Kei looks over the team, most of whom are still sprawled out in the shade, and shakes his head.  “This is fun?  Being surpassed by younger players and sweating to death?”

“Okay.  Practice and training maybe not so much.  But playing?  Yeah.”

“But you barely even get to play.  Not in regular matches anyway.”

“Regular matches or not I’m still with my friends.  And I can help the underclassmen with their training or school work.  I know it sounds strange but to me it’s still fun.”

“Fun,” Kei murmurs.  “Right.”

 

There is nothing fun about their fourth run.  Nothing fun about winning zero games at this ridiculous camp.  Nothing fun about the sweat dripping down his back and the ache in his legs.

Hinata still has unbelievable amounts of energy and is practically hopping with excitement as he waits near the gym door.  Though the excitement could be from watching Nekoma and Fukurodani’s practice match.  His eyes are wide and sparkly even from this far away and he cheers when the ball thumps to the ground for the final point.

Ryuu slaps Kei on the shoulder and grins at him.  “Give ‘em fifteen minutes for a breather and then we can have blocking practice with ‘em again.  Kuroo and Bokuto said they’d help us out.”

“Bokuto?  Bokuto’s awesome!  I wanna practice with Bokuto!”  Hinata pops up beside them and hops onto Ryuu’s back.

“You always practice with him.”  Ryuu grunts as he adjusts Hinata’s weight.

“Yeah but not like this.”  Hinata’s whine tugs at Kei’s already frayed nerves.  “And Bokuto and Kuroo are, like, epic.  They were both amazing back in high school.  They still are!  But I’m totally gonna surpass them someday!”

“Sounds a bit like hero worship.  I thought the Small Giant was your hero.”  Hinata looks at Kei like he’s dense and Kei bristles.

“You can have more than one hero, Tsukishima.  Have you ever even had one?”

He has.  He had the greatest hero he ever could have imagined having.  But his hero had fallen and no amount of perseverance or practice or stubbornness or shiny eyed enthusiasm would change that.

A volleyball rolls out of the open gym door and bumps against his foot.

“Forget it,” Kei says softly, “this is all pointless.”  He turns and walks away, brushing past Yamaguchi and barely even hearing Ryuu calling after him.

“Kei.  He didn’t mean anything by it!”

 

 

Why?  Why was he always surrounded by stupid people with their stupid enthusiasm for a shitty sport?  Why the hell had he even bothered coming to Karasuno?  Why bother joining the volleyball team?  Was he really so pathetic as to follow in his brother’s footsteps?

Well, one thing was certain, there was no way he was going to let this stupid sport break him like it did his brother.  No way he’d be sitting on the floor of his room in the dark, posters and trophies and figurines from his childhood scattered around him in pieces, digging his fingers into the back of a black Karasuno jacket.

“Tsukishima!”

He frowns into the darkness as he walks back towards their rooms as another line of thought occurs to him.

Maybe  _ he  _ had pushed his brother to lie.  To make up things about practices and the team and his accomplishments.  He had put so much pressure on him, put him up on this glowing pedestal built from childhood hero worship, followed him around day after day.  Maybe he was the reason his brother had tried so hard and failed.

Maybe it wasn’t his brother who was the pathetic one after all.

“Tsukki!”

He stops and glances over his shoulder as Yamaguchi jogs up to him.

“What?”

Yamaguchi takes a deep breath.  “You know ever since we met the first day of school I’ve been jealous of you.”  Kei raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.  “The bullies, classes, homework, volleyball.  The way you deal with it is always so cool and calm and smart.”

“Your point is?”

“I don’t get the way you’re acting now.  It’s… it’s…” He takes another deep breath and stands straight.  “Well it’s pathetic!  Hinata might become another Small Giant.  Might become the ace of the team like he’s always bragging about.  But even if he does you could surpass him.  You have the skills.  You have your height and strength and intuition and you’re so smart.  But you’re being so dumb right now.  I haven’t known you long but I’ve heard Tanaka mention it too.  You always get to a point where you see this line and then you build this wall and suddenly everything is impossible.”

Ryuu’s words from before their long weekend camp echo in his ears.  His words of walls and Akiteru being his hero too and Kei being dumb.

He spins to face Yamaguchi with a scowl.

“Say I try.  Somehow become Karasuno’s number one player.  The ace even.  So what?  What happens then?  Say we make it to Nationals?  Then what?  There’s always going to be someone better.”  He thinks of Aobajousai and Oikawa wiping the floor with them.  He thinks of their countless sets at this camp, every one a loss so far.  Thinks of all the runs they’ve had to do already.  The bruises.  The flying falls.  The taped fingers.  Thinks of Yamaguchi’s extra hours of serving practice.  Hinata and Kageyama practicing during lunch time.  Narita and Kinoshita smiling as they watch first years take their places.  Kenma’s eyes dulling ever so slightly when he watches Kageyama setting for Akaashi.  “Decent or great.  You’re never going to become the elusive ‘best.’  What the hell sort of motivation is driving you all to work yourselves to death for a stupid club?”

“Motivation?”  Yamaguchi’s voice is dangerously quiet.  It has an edge that reminds Kei of the stillness between lightning and thunder, reminds him of Ryuu’s fingers fisted in his shirt and the way his voice rang through the gym.  Yamaguchi’s fingers clench his shirt and yank him forward and for a moment he’s not sure if he’s here or stuck in a memory.  “What more do you need than pride!?”

His memories from a moment ago are overridden with new ones as he stares down at Yamaguchi.  He sees Yamaguchi’s excitement over his jump float serve working perfectly in their last practice match against Nekoma.  He sees the way Hinata and Kageyama cheer after each successful execution of one of their new quicks.  Narita and Kinoshita correcting the first years forms and discussing strategy with Sawamura, discussing how they can switch in to help.  Sees Kenma’s eyes glowing as they flicker to the side and successfully distract an opponent before setting a perfect ball up for Kei’s spike.

He remembers Akiteru’s eyes lighting up with excitement when Kei would run out to meet him after practice.  The way he’d be weary and have hours of homework but would still take time to teach him and Ryuu the basics.  The pride in his voice at being his middle school team’s ace and his assurance that Kei would get there someday too.

“You know I never expected…” His voice trails off and Yamaguchi drops his hands from Kei’s shirt and takes a step back.  “Pride, huh.”  He turns away, back towards the gyms, and then pauses.  “I never would have expected it, but you’re pretty cool yourself, Yamaguchi.”

Kei still doesn’t quite get it.  Narita plays because it’s fun.  Yamaguchi - and some of the others most likely - plays for pride.  He asks Kuroo and Bokuto when he returns to the gym they’re having blocking practice in, voice subdued and respectful, why they played.  Why they kept playing even if they got shut down.  Even if making it to the top of Nationals would be nearly impossible.  Bokuto waxes poetic about “that moment” in volleyball.  Kei doesn’t understand it himself but he thinks he knows what Bokuto is talking about.  He’s seen it in Hinata’s eyes when he reaches the top of his jump and sends the ball flying past the opponents.  He’s seen it on Ryuu’s face when he slams past a difficult block.  In Kageyama’s stance when he finally got a perfect ball set for Akaashi.

“If you can experience ‘that moment’ it’ll really get you hooked.”

“Though I think for you,” Kuroo says when Bokuto turns back towards the spikers, “‘that moment’ might be when you shut down a spiker.  Be it a powerful one or a tricky one.  You’re clever, Tsukishima, analytical.  You can think on your feet and have good instincts.  I think your moment will come when you kill their spike or end their scoring streak.  The moment you look them in the eye and see the frustration building because you outsmarted them.  You’ll have a moment.  And you’ll enjoy volleyball again.”

 

Their final match of camp comes two days later.  Kei isn’t sure of who all has been doing what since they’ve all been out doing their own training whenever they haven’t been together and they’re a bit disjointed but running much smoother than they were before camp.  Whatever falling out Kageyama and Hinata had after the Interhigh prelims - which Kei only vaguely ever paid attention to - seems to work itself out in the first few plays against Fukurodani.  Everyone seems to have a new trick or two up their sleeves, including their new team synchronized attack, and it’s refreshing in a way volleyball hasn’t been in a long time.

They lose.  Which is to be expected considering they’re playing against a top ranked team though it's much less bitter than any other loss so far.  They end far closer than they have against Fukurodani for the entire week.  They even lead for a couple points.  He thinks he might even have glimpse a hint of ‘that moment’ that Bokuto had talked about.  The moment he successfully blocked their ace’s spike and met his eyes through the net had sent a spark of something down his spine.

Their final score for the camp is somewhere around 3 wins and 60 losses.  But somehow that doesn’t sting as much as it feels like it should.  Maybe it’s the barbeque they’re treated to afterwards for their final night.  Maybe they’re just growing and learning to deal with it.  Maybe it’s because, while competitive, the matches here are still friendly.  Fukurodani and Nekoma topped the victory chart but they don’t act like they’re better.  

All the teams gather together for the barbeque and goof off and laugh.  The captains check on all of the teams together.  Urging members to eat more and rehydrate.

At one point Yamaguchi says something ridiculous about Kei finally learning how to play with others and Kei snaps at him to “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry Tsukki,” Yamaguchi snickers back at him and Nishinoya comes swooping in, eyes bright and ready to fight.

“What did you say to him?”

“I told him to shut up.”  Everyone around them seems to go still as Nishinoya stalks forward and leans up into his space.  Kei leans away reflexively.

“What the hell?”  Noya growls up at him.

Yamaguchi snickers again and claps his hand over his mouth when Kei turns to glare at him.  He has no idea what Yamaguchi is finding so hilarious about this situation.  


“Shut  _ up _ Yamaguchi.”  Everyone is watching them now and Kei can feel a blush crawling across his cheeks.  He doesn’t even know why he’s blushing.  He’s used to people staring at him.  Used to getting in arguments.  But he feels a little off now, a little raw from finally acknowledging that volleyball isn’t so bad.  He feels exposed.

“Sorry, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi giggles.  Then he snorts and everyone looks to him as his face blooms pink and he starts laughing.  “Sorry.”  He hiccups and slaps his hand over his mouth again, eyes watering with laughter as Yachi rushes over.  She hovers around him and keeps muttering about taking him to see a doctor if he can’t breathe which only seems to make him laugh harder.

Nishinoya glances from Yamaguchi to Kei uncertainly.  Kei rolls his eyes and walks over to where Kenma and Hinata are sprawled out.  It’s obviously been a long day when he’s voluntarily going to sit next to Hinata.

In the end they all eat way too much, stay up way too late, and stumble into their school’s assigned rooms exhausted.

By the time they’re on the bus the next day Kei actually admits to himself that he didn’t hate it as much as he expected to.


	15. You're OUR Jerk, Tsukishima Kei, Never Forget That

The first round of the Spring High prelims are in a couple weeks and Kei actually feels a little excited for them.  He actually feels like there’s something here for him.  Some spark of competition that can challenge him.  The school is tentatively getting geared up for them and he’s even heard a few classmates talking about going to the prelim games.

It’s Friday.  Practice went surprisingly well - Hinata hadn’t even made a comment worthy of Kei’s sarcasm which was unusual - and the third years are treating the team to snacks afterwards.

Kei’s standing with Yamaguchi in front of the freezer debating his choice of snack when he hears a familiar voice.

“Aw look it’s Four-Eyes and Pimple-Face.”  Yamaguchi tenses beside him.  “On a date?”  Someone makes kissy noises and Kei rolls his eyes.

“Why?  Are you jealous?”  Kei retorts without even turning around.  He hears the irritated noise of a response and smirks.  “Remember.  No judgement here.”

“Still can’t keep that mouth of yours shut can you?”  Kei turns around and raises an eyebrow.  He had almost forgotten about these idiots.  They must be really stupid, or desperate for attention, to be ganging up on him in a public place like this.

“Aw you don’t think it’s pretty anymore?”

“I’m thinking I’m gonna shut it for you if you don’t do it yourself.”

The leader sneers up at him and Kei sees he hasn’t changed a bit since that day in the bathroom.  He’s got five guys with him this time instead of three.  Not that it changes anything.  Kei shifts to the side and feels Yamaguchi’s hand clenching his backpack.  They’re still just a bunch of teenage punks looking to bully someone.  Apparently Kei’s standing up to them had been a sore spot that had festered until now.

“I think you’re gonna be in a shit ton of pain if you even try.”  Ryuu steps in between them.

“Tanaka,” the leader spits out.

“Nakahara,” Ryuu spits back.  “You got a problem with my friend you’re going through me.”

“Let’s take this outside then.”

The bullies filter out through the door and Kei grabs Ryuu’s shoulder as he moves to follow them.  “What are you doing?  If we get in a fight we’re all in deep trouble.”

“Just trust me, Kei.”  Ryuu grins at him over his shoulder and for a moment all Kei can see is his hand clenched in the back of Ryuu’s shirt as the world opens up in front of them, all he can hear is wind in his ears as he gets shakily to his feet, all he can feel is the bark of a tree under one hand and a cool t-shirt in the other - the only things tethering him to the world are the thin branch under his feet and the warm back under his fingers.  


He followed this grinning boy up a tree the day after he met him.  He followed him on adventures.  He followed him through middle school and into a sport he had vowed to hate.  These shoulders had always been in front of him, protecting him and guiding him.

Of course he trusts Ryuu.

He follows him out the door and freezes when he sees the rest of the team gathered there.

Ennoshita is smiling politely at Nakahara, the leader of the group.  Or what most people would see as politely.  Kei can see the anger bubbling just under the surface.  It’s unnerving.  He’s never seen Ennoshita anything but calm.  Even the day Hinata accidentally dumped an entire bottle of water on Ennoshita’s only pair of gym clothes.  Or the day Ryuu and Nishinoya nearly broke one of the gym doors messing around.  He was frustrated and tired.  But never truly angry.

Ryuu snags their wrists and drags him and Yamaguchi over to the team.

Nishinoya immediately steps in front of Kei and Yamaguchi with Akaashi right beside him.  Narita has his hand tangled in Hinata’s hood to keep him from doing something stupid and when he shifts forwards when Nakahara smirks at them Yamaguchi reaches out to grab at Kageyama’s jacket.

“I told you your guard dogs wouldn’t be able to protect you forever.  You think we’re scared of a bunch of volleyball idiots?”

Kinoshita shifts beside Ennoshita as he continues to smile politely.

“Kenma?”

The setter presses against Kei’s arm for a moment before stepping in between Ryuu and Nishinoya.  He takes a deep breath.

Then he lists off the name, class, and rank of each person in the other group.  Lists off how close each of them are to getting suspended or expelled.  

Everyone is staring down the bullies as they start to shift uncomfortably, eyes darting around as Kenma rattles off facts from memory.

Kenma continues talking.  Voice quiet and determined as he lists off each and every thing they’ve done to Kei from the initial meeting - which Yamaguchi must have told them about - through all of his stuff going missing to the last note he had found in his locker.  Lists off which teacher to report them to for bullying and harassment.  Kei glances over and sees Hinata and Kageyama giving Nakahara their creepy intense combined death stare.

“Now,” Akaashi says when Kenma finally trails off, “if it were up to my fellow second years you’d just get beaten to a pulp.”  Ryuu cracks his neck and glares into the group.  Nishinoya bounces in place and Kei is kind of glad he can’t see the look on Nishinoya’s face.  But he bets it looks similar to the day he had skidded into the club room and said he’d kill the guys who beat Kei up.  “But I don’t think it needs to come to that, do you?”

Nakahara gives them all a disgusted look and rolls his eyes.

“Whatever.  Can’t be protected forever, Four-Eyes.”

“He might not be able to.”  Ryuu steps forward next to Ennoshita.  “But that doesn’t matter.  Because I will always have his back.  And so will the others.  You mess with him again and nothing anyone says to me will stop me from crushing you.”

 

Sugawara looks incredibly worried when the entire team crams into entryway of his house but when Hinata excitedly tells what happened and Akaashi fills in the gaps and translates the noises with practiced ease Sugawara’s face clears up and he smiles at them.

“I am so proud of you all.”

He insists they all stay for a meal which somehow turns into them all staying the night.

Kuroo and Sawamura are in the kitchen arguing almost cheerfully about something.  Sugawara is pulling out blanket after blanket from places Kei can’t even keep up with.  Bokuto somehow convinced Azumane to help him build an epic pillow fort in the living room.  Hinata snatches whatever book Kinoshita is trying to read and laughs when the third year growls at him and chases him out of the room.  Kenma is busy kicking the ass of anyone who dares to play against him in the fighting game he found under the tv.

Ryuu flops onto the couch next to Kei with a grin.

“Not quite the adventures we used to have but not too shabby.”

There’s one thing that’s bothered Kei since the moment Nakahara and his little band of bullies shuffled away with muttered curses and dirty looks.  It’s something that’s been in the back of his mind for awhile now.  Since sometime around the moment Ryuu had delivered Nishinoya’s headphones to him with that crappy story.  He stares down at his fingers in his lap.

“You I understand.  But why was everyone else so willing to stand up for me?”

Ryuu stares at him for a moment and then glances around, like he can’t believe he’s having this conversation.  But the only one close enough to have heard is Kenma and he simply shrugs without even looking away from his game.

“There you go being all dumb again, Kei.  Why?  Because we’re a team.  We’re your friends, whether you like it or not.  We care about you.”

“Even if you’re kind of being a jerk about, well, everything.”  Nishinoya pops between them and hangs over the back of the couch.  “You’re our jerk.”  He grins up at Kei.  “Don’t worry your elders will always protect you.”  Nishinoya sputters when Kei reaches back and hooks his leg, sending him up and over the couch and onto the floor.  “Even if you don’t respect them,” he mumbles from the floor.

  
  


“Good night boys,” Sugawara calls out softly before shutting the kitchen light off and padding upstairs.  Kuroo and Bokuto are passed out on the couch and the team is spread out in the living room - even Kageyama, Yamaguchi, and Nishinoya who had refused to sleep in their rooms if the rest of the team was out here.

Kageyama is sitting near the window staring up at the stars and he glances over when Kei settles down between him and Ryuu.  He gives Kei an almost smile before dropping the curtain and curling up with his back to the room.

Maybe this isn’t exactly where he’s meant to be.  Maybe he’ll never figure out “exactly” where that is.  But as he rubs at his sleepy eyes and listens to the steady sounds of everyone sleeping he thinks that maybe that’s okay.  Because here he has a place.  He has a team.

Dark rooms and broken trophies and ripped posters will never have a place in his life.  Because this generation of Karasuno will never let it happen to him.  Even if they’re defeated they’ll drag themselves, and him, back to the surface before despair kicks in.  They won’t let him close himself off.

 

He’s fond of these volleyball dorks, he admits to himself when he wakes up the next morning to the sounds of Yamaguchi talking softly with Azumane in the kitchen and Bokuto snoring into Kuroo’s chest.  Even Hinata who has somehow curled up against his leg and is using his shin as a pillow.  And is drooling on him.

They are his friends and he’s fond of them and it’s all Ryuu’s fault.


End file.
